Homestar Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones
by Homer Starrun
Summary: The parody of Star Wars Episode II, it includes a bunch of action, humor, lightsabers, blasters, speeders, droids, and a whole bunch of funny andor cool stuff! So, read and REVIEW!
1. Chapter 1 The Attack

Well, this is the sequel to my "Homestar Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace". I'd like to thank the reviewers who reviewed the story. Also, I'd like to thank Will-Write-For-Pocky for inspiring me to write the Homestar Wars stories to parody the Star Wars Prequel Trilogy movies, considering Will-Write-For-Pocky wrote parodies for Star Wars Episode IV (now deleted from and Episode V (when is Will-Write-For-Pocky going to update the story?), as well as some flash movies on the internet inspired me to write the stories. Also, if you have been confused about why some characters were assigned to parody the characters from Star Wars Episode I in my parody for The Phantom Menace, you will see here why I chose those character assignments (like Homestar as Anakin Skywalker, or Strong Bad as Obi-Wan Kenobi).

Well, that's enough of crediting and explaining. Now onto the story!

* * *

**HOMESTAR WARS**

**Episode II**

**Attack of the Clones**

Characters:

Corde: So and So

Lieutenant: Knight from KOT DVD (dressed up as "Idaho" for Halloween)

Guards: Blue and Red Knight (Trogdor game)

Padme: Marzipan

Captain Typho: No I in Team Guy (known as Captain I)

R2-D2: Homsar

Chancellor Palpatine: Homeschool Winner

Yoda: Pom-Pom

Mace Windu: Strong Mad

Ki-Adi-Mundi: Wheelchair

Plo Koon: Pan Pan

Dar Wan: Sherlock (Cowcopter)

Bail Organa: Prince of Town

Jar Jar Binks: Reynold

Dorme: Cheerleader

Count Dooku: Zee-Gee-Oh (my name for 20X6 Coach Z)

Obi-Wan Kenobi: Strong Bad

Anakin Skywalker: Homestar Runner

Gundaarks: Mrs. Commanderson(s)

Zam Wessel: The Ugly One

Jango Fett: Stinkoman

Kohuns: The Worm (from Sweet Cuppin Cakes) (there are two)

Death Sticks guy: Quarterback

Dexter: Bubs

Librarian: What's Her Face

Younglings: Teeny Tiny Girl Squad and Tompkins

Queen Jamilla: 20X6 Marzipan (known as Queen Yatta)

Sio Bibble: Mr. Bland

Taun We: Rather Dashing (appearance is from computer game, voice from trailer)

Lama Su: King of Peasantry

Clones: Stinkoman/Clones

Shaak: Poor Gary (the horse)

Boba Fett: 20X6 Homestar (let's call him Kidstar)

Watto: The Cheat

Shmi Skywalker: Unnamed (not really Homestar's mother in real life)

Cliegg Lars: Guy at the Depot (call him Cliegg Depot)

C-3PO: Strong Sad

Owen Lars: The Homestar Runner (1936. Call him The Owen)

Beru Lars: 1936 Marzipan (call her The Beru)

Tusken Raiders: Marshie and family

Jawa: Unguraits

Geonosians: Fhqwhgads (call Poggle the Lesser: Fhqwhgads the Lesser)

Nute Gunray: Blue Laser

Rune: Blue Laser minion

Robot: Visor Robot

Other Separatists include: The Poopsmith, Olda Boys

Qui-Gon Jinn's spirit: Coach Z's spirit

Ask Aak: Senor Cardgage

Mas Amedda: Lem Sportsinterviews

All enemy battle droids and accessories: All battle droids and accessories

Reek (the large bull-like execution monster who went after Anakin): Trogdor

Nexu (the lion-like execution monster who went after Padme): Kerrek

Acklay (the screechy execution monster who is like a lobster with scythes who went after Obi-Wan): S is for Sucks Dragon

Darth Sidious: Still Unknown (do you think I'd tell you who he is?)

* * *

"_A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away…."_**

* * *

**

HOMESTAR WARS

**Episode II**

**ATTACK OF THE CLOWNS**

"WHAT?" shouted Homer Starrun, "Who wrote Clowns in place of Clones? Eh… eh… START OVER!"

**TAKE 2**

**HOMESTAR WARS**

**Episode II**

**ATTACK OF THE CLONES**

_There is unrest in the Galactic Senate several hundred solar systems have declared their intentions to leave the Republic._

_This separatist movement, under the leadership of Zee-Gee-Oh, has made it difficult for the limited number of Jedi Knights to maintain peace and order in the galaxy._

(At this point, Homestar began to sing the Star Wars theme song terribly and quickly.)

_Senator Marzipan, the former Queen of Naboo, is returning to the Galactic Senate to vote on the critical issue of creating an ARMY OF THE REPUBLIC (capitalized for some reason) to assist the overwhelmed Jedi..._

_Homestar, stop singing and get into your position!_

"Oops! The wowds told me!" said Homestar off-screen, or off-scene.

**

* * *

**

Chapter 1 – The Attack

Outside of the city-planet, or planet-city of Coruscant, two Naboo Starfighters flew to Coruscant, followed by a Royal Cruiser, and then another Starfighter. Inside the Royal Cruiser, the Lieutenant with two Knights behind him talked to Senator Marzipan.

"Senator, we haven't made the moat yet, but there are none of our enemies outside, so the drawbridge…" began the Lieutenant.

"This is _Star Wars,_ not Castle Wars, or anything like that," reminded the Blue Knight.

"Oh right. Senator, we're making our final approach to Coruscant," said the Lieutenant.

"Very good, Lieutenant," said Senator Marzipan.

Coruscant was unusually foggy, which was unsettling, but it was only dawn. The Starfighters landed on the landing platform (which was floating and stationary) and the Royal Cruiser landed on where there was the most amount of space. Homsar was lowered from a Starfighter as a pilot from another Starfighter got out and took off his helmet, revealing himself to be Captain I, who had an eye patch. He walked to a woman pilot whose head was shaped like a baseball bat.

"We made it!" said Captain I as Senator Marzipan and her guards were walking off the ramp of the Royal Cruiser, "I guess I was wrong. There was no danger at all."

At that instant, the Royal Cruiser blew up, destroying the expensive ship, killing the six guards, and fatally injuring Senator Marzipan.

"Did I jinx things?" asked Captain I as alarms started to blare.

Then the female pilot ran to Senator Marzipan and took off her helmet, revealing herself to be the _real_ Senator Marzipan. She took the other's mask off, revealing herself to be So and So.

"So and So…" said Marzipan.

"Oh don't worry, M'lady. I've experienced this like a million times in my life, or lives," replied So and So.

Then So and So died. Captain I walked up to Marzipan.

"M'lady, you're still in danger here," said Captain I.

"I shouldn't have come back," said Marzipan.

"The vote is very important, especially for the story. You did your duty, So and So did hers, and I didn't like her at all, well, a little bit more than her friends. Now come," ordered Captain I as he began to walk away when Marzipan just stood there, "Senator Marzipan, please!"

So Marzipan and Homsar walked away with Captain I away from the damage.

* * *

In Chancellor Homeschool's office in the Executive Quarters Building, Chancellor Homeschool was talking to Pom-Pom, Strong Mad, Wheelchair, Pan Pan and some other Jedi.

"I don't know how long I can hold off the vote, my 'friends'. More and more star systems are joining the Separatists," said Chancellor Homeschool.

"Break away?" asked Strong Mad.

"I will not let this Republic that has stood for a thousand years be split in two, at least, not in my command, so I won't be the poor sucker responsible for the fall. My negotiations will not fail!"

"NOT ENOUGH JEDI! PEACE!" shouted Strong Mad.

"All right Strong Mad, you made your point," said Wheelchair.

"Bubs?" asked Strong Mad.

"Master Pom-Pom," said Homeschool, ignoring Strong Mad and the Wheelchair, "do you really think we'll come to war? And why does Strong Mad have to play Mace Windu?"

Pom-Pom closed his eyes and bubbled, "_The Dark Side clouds everything. Impossible to see, the future is. Nor why Mace Windu Strong Mad is."_

Then a small hologram of Sherlock appeared on the Chancellor's desk. Sherlock spoke in an obscure, weird murmur which meant something like this, "_The loyal committee has arrived, my lord._"

"Good," Homeschool said to Sherlock. Then Homeschool talked to the Jedi again, "We'll discuss this matter later. Send them in."

Then Marzipan, Captain I, Reynold, Cheerleader, Prince of Town, and other politicians walked into the office. The Jedis began to walk away. Meanwhile, Pom-Pom talked to Marzipan.

"_Marzipan, your tragedy on the landing platform, terrible. Seeing you alive brings warm feeling to my heart,"_ Pom-Pom bubbled.

"So, which creep tried to do this to me?" asked Marzipan.

"NABOO MOONS!" shouted Strong Mad.

"I think Zee-Gee-Oh did it," said Marzipan, surprising some.

"He's a political idealist, not a murderer," said Wheelchair.

"He was once a Jedi. It's not his character," said Strong Mad, before defending his reputation with a big, "AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH…"

"_But the fact remains for certain, Senator, in grave danger you are,"_ Pom-Pom bubbled.

"Master Jedi, may I suggest that the Senator be placed under the protection of your graces," said Homeschool.

"Do you think that's a wise decision during the stressful times?" asked the Prince of Town.

"Chancellor, if I may comment, I don't believe the…" began Marzipan when Homeschool interrupted, "…situation is that serious. No, but I do, Senator."

"Chancellor, please! I don't want any more guards. The guards always destroy my precious flowers and plants, which took years to grow!" protested Marzipan.

"Okay, then how about someone you're familiar with, like, an old friend… like…" began Homeschool.

"GET ON WITH IT!" shouted Strong Mad.

"Okay. Like Master Strong Bad," said Homeschool.

"HE'S HOME!" shouted Strong Mad.

"Still, no thanks. I don't like him that much, actually, I really don't like him at all," said Marzipan.

"Do it for me, M'lady, please. The thought of losing you is unbearable," said Homeschool.

"STRONG BAD'S COMING! YAY!" shouted Strong Mad.

* * *

In the elevator of an apartment building, Strong Bad and his apprentice, Homestar Runner, were waiting for the elevator the reach the floor where Marzipan was staying. Homestar was moving around a lot in nervousness. In fact, he even walked up the elevator walls and ceiling before Strong Bad used the Force to bring him back to the floor.

"What the crap is wrong with you?" asked Strong Bad.

"I dunno," replied Homestar.

"You're not usually this tense, except that time when we fell into the nest of the Mrs. Commandersons," said Strong Bad.

"You fell into youw nightmawe! And I saved the day, and you!" replied Homestar.

"I don't have nightmares, just weird dreams. But since you saved me, one point for you!" said Strong Bad.

"Yay!" cheered Homestar, having no clue what that meant, for Strong Bad does that to shut Homestar up.

However, it was Strong Bad who started the next conversation, "You're sweating. Relax, before you break through the glass windows and fall down."

"We can do that?" asked Homestar.

"Yeah, but don't do that. So let me guess, you like Marzipan?" asked Strong Bad.

"Yup!" replied Homestar.

"How many times do I have to tell you, Jedis can't love, unfortunately?"

"But it has been ten yeaws, Stwong Bad!" said Homestar.

"You're supposed to call me Master!" shouted Strong Bad.

Soon, the elevator reached their destination as Reynold in a Representative gown arrived to greet the Jedis. Reynold became excited to see Strong Bad again.

"Oh Strong Bad! It's nice to see you again!" said Reynold.

"Get away kid!" shouted Strong Bad as he kicked Reynold into a wall, "Oh wait, it was just Reynold in a dress, how creepy."

Soon, Reynold took Strong Bad and Homestar to a room with couches, Marzipan, and Captain I.

"Senator Marzipan, here are the two Siths, I mean Jedis," said Reynold a little dizzily from being kicked.

So Marzipan and Captain I went to the two Jedis and greeted them.

"Nice to see you again, flower lady," said Strong Bad.

"For some reason, it's still nice to see you again, Strong Bad, or should I say, 'master' Strong Bad," said Marzipan before looking at Homestar, "Homestar? My goodness, you've… actually, to tell the truth, you haven't grown at all."

"Thanks! And you've gwown less-queeny, fow a Senatow, and mowe, Senatowy," said Homestar, embarrassing himself and making Strong Bad give him a disapproving look.

"Oh Homestar, you'll always be that guy from Tatooine," said Marzipan.

"That's because I am," replied Homestar before they all sat down on the couches.

"We will be invisable to you, Marzipan, happy?" asked Strong Bad.

"I'm very grateful you're here, Master Strong Bad. I'm Captain I, head of Her Majesty's security service," said Captain I.

"Oh, how nice of a name, since you only have one eye," remarked Strong Bad.

"Please don't make fun of my eye. Queen Yatta has informed you of your assignment. This situation's more dangerous than the Senator will admit," said Captain I.

"I don't need security. I want answers! I want to know who wants to kill me!" said Marzipan.

"We're here to protect, not to investigate," said Strong Bad.

"Then it's pwivate eye Homestaw to the wescue!" said Homestar.

"Oh puh-leez, you can't even find your picture in the cover of Podracing Weekly when you won that Podrace! You were right on the cover!"

"Yeah, I nevew did."

"Perhaps with merely your presence, the mysteries surrounding this threat will be revealed. Now if you excuse me, I will retire," said Marzipan.

Then all stood up as Marzipan left with Cheerleader who just appeared. Meanwhile, Reynold talked with Homestar.

"I'm so glad that I get to see you again after ten years, or so they think," said Reynold.

"Oh Weynold, I don't think Mawzipan likes me that much anymowe. I oughta play that She Loves Me game again! The wesult was unfaiw," said Homestar as Strong Bad came.

"She's happy to see you again in a long time," said Reynold.

"Yeah, whatever. Let's go away from the negative thoughts and look at their crappy security," said Strong Bad.

"Okay, Stwong Bad!" said Homestar.

"_Master_ Strong Bad!" corrected Strong Bad for the 998,340,238,412,038th time during the course of training Homestar.


	2. Chapter 2 The Second Attack and the Cha...

**Chapter 2 – The Second Attack and the Chase**

On a skyscraper ledge at night, Stinkoman in Jango Fett's armor met The Ugly One.

"I hit the ship, but they used a decoy," reported The Ugly One.

"MAN! We need to use something more SUBTLE this time, Ugly One! MY client's getting impatient! Here, use these!" said Stinkoman as he gave The Ugly One a canister of two The Worms, "They're very poisonous! NO more mistakes!"

So The Ugly One put on a veil, covering her face and making her look even more hideous.

* * *

In the main room of the apartment building Marzipan's staying in, Strong Bad and Homestar were discussing the security.

"So Captain I has soldiers down there, and we're up here, so Marzipan will probably be attacked," said Strong Bad.

"I think so too, Stwong Bad," replied Homestar.

"MASTER STRONG BAD! Anyway, any activity up here?" asked Strong Bad.

"Well, I ate some Fluffy Puff Mawshmallows, then had some melonade, then had some…" began Homestar.

"Ugh, never mind. I don't need to know what you ate," said Strong Bad.

"And dwank," added Homestar.

Strong Bad took out a palm/boxing gloved-size view scanner of Marzipan's room, but it didn't show anything.

"What the crap's going on?" asked Strong Bad.

"Oh, Mawzipan pwobably covewed them, because she didn't want us to see her new flowews," said Homestar.

"What is she thinking? Not that she's bright," said Strong Bad.

"Well, that little blue midget has this secuwity system I don't know of on."

Inside Marzipan's room, Marzipan was asleep in her bed. Homsar was asleep as well. Strong Bad's and Homestar's voices could be heard from inside.

"It's not the intruder I'm concerned about. There are many other ways to kill a Senator, and I can think up some ways, and do them, and I would," said voiceover Strong Bad.

"So we can catch this assassin," said voiceover Homestar.

Back in the main room…

"So you're using her as bait? How nice," remarked Strong Bad.

"It's hew idea! Not mine!" said Homestar.

"You're right. Your plan would include some electric tape, wire cutters, and melonade," agreed Strong Bad.

"Yup! That's wight! I can sense evewything going on in that woom, so she won't be not safe," assured Homestar.

"It's too risky. Besides, your senses suck, compared to mine, or at least to that one shrimp back in the temple," argued Strong Bad.

On the skyscraper ledge, The Ugly One inserted the canister of The Worms into a Probe Droid, who flew away while dodging Coruscant night traffic.

Back in the main room again…

"You look tired," remarked Strong Bad.

"Oh, I don't sleep well anymowe, mainly because I lost my cinnamon," said Homestar.

"And because of dreams of your mother?" asked Strong Bad.

"That too," replied Homestar.

"No wonder you suck. STOP DREAMING ABOUT HER!" shouted Strong Bad.

"Well, I want to dweam about Mawzipan!" argued Homestar.

"I already told you, Jedis can't love! Besides, you can't trust her! I can't," said Strong Bad.

Meanwhile, the probe droid arrived outside the window of Marzipan's room. Using its technologies, it opened a hole in the window and made the two The Worms crawl into the room undetected. As Homestar and Strong Bad continued having a conversation now about politics and politicians (Homeschool included in the conversation), the two The Worms crawled to Marzipan's bed. Once, Homsar woke up.

"DaAaAaaa! I can see in the dark!" shouted Homsar before sleeping again.

Soon, the two The Worms got into killing positions on Marzipan.

Back in the main room for the last time…

"I think Homeschool's a good man, even though he's newdy…" began Homestar when he sensed something.

"I sense it too!" said Strong Bad as they ran into Marzipan's room.

Just when the two The Worms were about to bite Marzipan, Homestar arrived, ignited his blue-bladed lightsaber, and sliced the two The Worms in half (poor The Worms). This made Marzipan wake up in surprise and anger.

"You're here to destroy my plants!" shouted Marzipan.

Then Strong Bad saw the probe droid outside, which was beginning to fly away. So Strong Bad ran to the window and jumped into it… and received pain.

"That's bulletproof and blaster-proof glass," said Marzipan.

"But not The Worm proof?" asked Strong Bad.

"The window's open to your right," said Marzipan.

"No thanks, I want to damage stuff," said Strong Bad as he jumped through the plate glass next to the bulletproof glass, breaking it while Strong Bad hung onto the probe droid.

"HEY! YOU HAVE TO PAY FOR THAT!" shouted Marzipan.

"I'll be wight back!" said Homestar as he ran away. Then Cheerleader, Captain I, and two guards rushed in.

"You okay? That's good," said Cheerleader without waiting for a reply.

Strong Bad was hanging onto the probe droid for dear life. If he let go, he would fall down a great height, and that was if he didn't get hit by a vehicle. The probe droid tried to make Strong Bad let go by bumping against a wall of a building. Strong Bad managed to hold on.

Meanwhile, Homestar went to a parking lot of the apartment building, went into a speeder, and flew away with it. Meanwhile, the owner (Larry from Limozeen) tried to chase after him.

"Hey! THAT'S MINE!" shouted Larry.

The probe droid with Strong Bad was now flying through traffic. Strong Bad nearly flew into two speeders, one that had two The Sneaks in it. He made enemies in less than a minute. Soon, it flew towards the skyscraper ledge where The Ugly One was, who was reading So You're The Ugly One, Eh?. The Ugly One saw something and looked through electrobinoculars and saw Strong Bad. So she got out a sniper rifle and destroyed the probe droid, making Strong Bad fall to his doom. Next, The Ugly One went into her speeder and flew away.

Homestar was flying towards where that happened, so he dove down to try and retrieve Strong Bad. After falling fifty stories, Strong Bad landed on the back end of Homestar's (or Larry's) speeder. Then he hauled himself into the passenger seat.

"What the crap took you so long?" asked Strong Bad.

"Oh you know, Stwong Bad…" began Homestar.

"MASTER!" shouted Strong Bad.

"Oh you know, Stwong Bad, I had to get a speedew I liked, with open cockpits, wight speed capabilities, bwead, I don't know what I'm talking about," explained Homestar.

"Chase after that speeder!" ordered Strong Bad as he pointed to The Ugly One's speeder, so Homestar gave pursuit as he continued talking about speeders and bread, "And if you spend as much time on your lightsaber skills as you do on piloting, you would rival Master Pom-Pom as a swordsman."

"But I alweady did!" replied Homestar.

"Only in the mind, bozo," muttered Strong Bad.

Then The Ugly One's speeder dove down the air with Homestar following, making them fly in a ninety degree angle. Strong Bad was not enjoying this, but Homestar was.

"HOMESTAR! GET US IN A 180 DEGREE ANGLE NOW!" shouted Strong Bad.

The Ugly One's speeder kept on going down, but then a bus blocked Homestar's and Strong Bad's way, and at the last minute, Homestar drove out of the way instead of crashing.

"What the crap were you doing back there?" asked Strong Bad.

"Oh! I fowgot, you don't like flying," said Homestar.

"That's not flying, that's SUICIDE!"

"What's that?" asked Homestar.

Soon, they chased The Ugly One to a power refinery. The Ugly One went in a zigzag pattern at every tower with fire on it. Homestar tried to do the same thing.

"Go in a straight line! That's that idiot's direction! So don't get us burned!" said Strong Bad.

Soon, The Ugly One flew towards power couplings. The Ugly One used her rifle on a power coupling to electrocute it. When The Ugly One passed it, both power couplings made an electrical wall. Homestar was going to go through it.

"Don't go through the power couplings!" shouted Strong Bad, but Homestar passed through the power couplings, electrocuting both Strong Bad and Homestar, "Well, that was good," said Strong Bad sarcastically.

"Gee, youw welcome!" replied Homestar.

Then The Ugly One sped into a tunnel in a building. Homestar drove away from it.

"What are you doing? He went into the tunnel!" shouted Strong Bad.

"Stwong Bad…" began Homestar.

"Master," said Strong Bad.

"Stwong Bad, if we keep this chase going, I think that person's going to kill himself. I want to know who he is and who he's wowking fow," explained Homestar.

"Ooh, wise excuse," remarked Strong Bad.

"Thanks Stwong Bad, I think I'm going in a showtcut," said Homestar.

The Ugly One saw she wasn't being chased anymore, so she took off her veil and flew away from the tunnel. Meanwhile, Homestar and Strong Bad stopped in midair.

"Great job, stupid, now you've lost her. She went completely the other way!" chastised Strong Bad.

"Okay, bye!" said Homestar as he jumped off the speeder as Strong Bad looked down.

"I hate it when he tries to commit suicide when I chastise him," muttered Strong Bad.

Soon, Homestar landed on The Ugly One's speeder by miracle. As Homestar tried to hang on, The Ugly One kept swerving, making it difficult to hang onto the slippery surface of the speeder. Then, Homestar got to the roof of the speeder and used his lightsaber and broke through it, trying to attack The Ugly One. However, The Ugly One used her blaster and fired at Homestar, making him let go of the lightsaber Strong Bad caught in the speeder he was driving.

So, Homestar tried to grab the blaster out of The Ugly One's hand. As they continued this, one of them (probably Homestar) accidentally fired at the speeder's systems. Soon, the speeder went out of control. So, the speeder landed on an entertainment street and crashed into some trash cans, making Homestar fly off.

Then The Ugly One got out of her speeder and ran away with Homestar chasing after her. Then they both ran through a crowd. Then The Ugly One ran into a nightclub.

Strong Bad landed the speeder in a street close to the nightclub and ran off. In front of the nightclub, Strong Bad and Homestar bumped into each other, literally.

"That ugly giwl wan into the club!" shouted Homestar.

"Okay, calm down, and use the freakin' Force!" ordered Strong Bad.

"Okay."

"And he went in there to hide, not to run."

"Okay!"

Then Strong Bad gave back Homestar's lightsaber to its owner.

"And try not to lose this for the twentieth time. This weapon is your life, or something like that," explained Strong Bad as they went into the nightclub, where Strong Bad said, "Why do I have the feeling you're going to kill me?"

"Maybe because you know what happens in Episode 4?" asked Homestar.

"I don't know. Can you see him?" asked Strong Bad.

"I think he's a she," said Homestar.

"Well, _I _think he's a he," argued Strong Bad.

'Well, _I_ think she's a he, I mean a she."

"Let's just say it's neither," said Strong Bad.

"Or both," added Homestar.

"Ew! Gross! Anyway, go find it!" said Strong Bad as he began to walk away.

"Whewe do you think you'we going?" asked Homestar.

"Is that anyway to talk to your master? I'm just going for a drink, for like a Cold One, or maybe a Pina Colata."

"Ow getting stuck in the wain," added Homestar.

As Strong Bad went to get a drink and Homestar look for the criminal, The Ugly One was getting her blaster ready. While Strong Bad was having a Cold One, Quarterback offered Strong Bad some death sticks.

"Wanna buy some death sticks?" asked Quarterback.

So Strong Bad raised his hand to use the Force and said, "You don't want to sell me any death sticks, seriously."

"I don't want to sell you any death sticks, seriously," replied Quarterback.

Then Strong Bad used the Force again, "You should go away and jump off a building."

"I should go away and jump off a building," replied Quarterback as he walked away.

Meanwhile, The Ugly One was pointing her blaster at Strong Bad's back, eager to shoot. Just when she was about to shoot, Strong Bad quickly used his blue-bladed lightsaber to slice The Ugly One's blaster arm off.

"Ow! My arm!" cried out The Ugly One as everyone looked at the event and Homestar arrived.

"Go back to youw dwinks," ordered Homestar.

"Yeah. Homestar, drag this ugly bounty hunter outside in the alley," ordered Strong Bad as he walked away.

In the alley, Homestar dragged The Ugly One (literally) and the two Jedis began to interrogate The Ugly One.

"Who the crap were you trying to kill?" asked Strong Bad.

"A Senator from Naboo," replied The Ugly One.

"Who hired you?" asked Strong Bad.

"It's just a stupid job," replied The Ugly One.

"Come on! Tell us! We'll keep it a secwet!" said Homestar.

"All right, I was hired by a bounty hunter named…" began The Ugly One when something small and quick flew from above and into The Ugly One's throat.

Then The Ugly One transformed into a more hideous creature. Meanwhile, Homestar and Strong Bad looked up to see the armored Stinkoman fly away on his jet pack.

"Tujolpnbo," said the creature before dying.

Then Strong Bad picked up the object that killed The Ugly One.

"Toxic dart, this makes our job harder," said Strong Bad.

"What job?" asked Homestar.


	3. Chapter 3 Investigation and Protection

**Response to reviewers:** Thanks for reviewing! And for H-Dog's review, I never thought that Homestar's reply to Strong Bad's "...this makes our job harder" would be that hilarious. Even I don't know the power of my comedy. Anyway, onto the chapter!

(This chapter does not have that scene in the ship where Anakin and Padme talk about whether Jedis can love, for that has been mentioned already by Strong Bad and Homestar, and that scene is a little cheesy to me.)

**

* * *

**

Chapter 3 – Investigation and Protection

The next day, Strong Bad and Homestar were in front of the Jedi Council in the Jedi Temple.

"_Track down this bounty hunter, you must, Strong Bad,_" Pom-Pom bubbled.

"HIS BOSSY BOSS!" added Strong Mad.

"What about Senator Baseball bat, I mean Marzipan? She still needs protection," asked Strong Bad.

"_Handle that, your Padawan will,_" Pom-Pom bubbled.

"Who, me?" asked Homestar.

"GO TO NABOO! TAKE PUBLIC TRANSPORTINA!" shouted Strong Mad.

"Uh, I don't think she want to go back to Naboo," said Homestar.

"_Until caught this killer is, our judgment she must respect, or else,"_ Pom-Pom bubbled.

"KICK CHANCELLOR HOMESCHOOL!" shouted Strong Mad.

"I think he means ask him, not kick him to the moooooon!" added Wheelchair.

"Aw!" groaned Strong Mad in response.

So Strong Bad and Homestar exited the council chamber.

* * *

In Homeschool's office, Homestar just asked the Chancellor to make Marzipan go to Naboo.

"I'll talk to her. Senator Marzipan will not refuse an executive order, but she has done it once, and blew up a building or two. But she'll come to Naboo," said Homeschool.

"Okay, Homeschool," replied Homestar, not saying "Youw Excellency."

Homeschool didn't mind that, "So the idiots finally gave you an assignment. Good job, your patience paid off."

"I think it was mowe like, um, youw guidance, whatevew that means," replied Homestar.

"You don't need guidance. When you trust your feelings, you will be invincible. I think you are the most gifted Jedi, more than Master Pom-Pom, and it's not to please you, maybe," explained Homeschool.

* * *

In a hallway of the Jedi Temple, Strong Bad was having a discussion with Strong Mad and Pom-Pom.

"I don't think Homestar can do this assignment, for he can probably blow the Senator up, which I might maybe like," said Strong Bad.

"_The Council is confident in this decision, Strong Bad,_" Pom-Pom bubbled.

"COOL SKILLS!" shouted Strong Mad.

"Yeah, but he has a lot to learn, for he's arrogant, or something like that, or dumb," said Strong Bad.

"_Well, it's a flaw more and more common among Jedi. Too sure of themselves they are. Even the older, more experienced ones," _Pom-Pom bubbled.

"I THINK CHOSEN ONE! YES, CHOSEN ONE!" shouted Strong Mad.

"Did he take his sleeping pills yet?" asked Strong Bad.

"_No effect there is,_" bubbled Pom-Pom in response.

* * *

In the apartment building where Marzipan was staying, while Cheerleader was packing Marzipan's luggage lousily, Marzipan was talking to Reynold.

"I'll be gone for a very long time, so you'll have to replace me, Representative Reynold," said Marzipan.

"I'm honored to accept this heavy burden, and with some…" began Reynold.

"Okay, that's enough, I have to go now," interrupted Marzipan.

"Okay, M'lady," replied Reynold as he left as Marzipan went to Homestar.

"I don't like the idea of hiding," said Marzipan, angrily.

"Well, I think Stwong Bad will find this bounty huntew quickly," replied Homestar.

"Well, I haven't worked for a year to defeat the Military Creation Act not to be here when the fate is decided, but you probably don't know what that meant," said Marzipan.

"Nope, not at all, but I think I have to say something smawt, like letting go of ouw pwide and do what's wequested of us," explained Homestar.

"Whoa, Strong Bad would have won a Grumblecake with that if he said that, whatever a Grumblecake is. And you've grown, actually, you still didn't," replied Marzipan.

"Well, Stwong Bad doesn't see that, and those Gwumblecakes tasted tewwible, but not as bad as Cheatcakes," said Homestar as he went to the window and lifted a little gray ball with the Force.

"Don't get me wong, Stwong Bad's a gweat mentow. Wise as Mastew Pom-Pom, stwong as Mastew Stwong Mad, and I think I like being his appwentice. I think I'm bettew than him, but Stwong Bad doesn't want to admit that. He thinks I'm dumb and clumsy, but I think that's twue, but I'm weady fow the twials! I think he's a little jerky, cwitical, and he never listens," explained Homestar.

"Sorry, I was too busy packing up some personal stuff and didn't have time to listen to your speech with speech impediments. What did you say?" asked Marzipan.

Suddenly, the ball Homestar was Force lifting accidentally flew through the window and into the window of another speeder, making it crash into a bus and causing a huge speeder accident.

"I didn't do that," said Homestar quickly.

* * *

A transport bus with Homestar, Marzipan, Homsar, Strong Bad, Captain I, and Cheerleader arrived at the spaceport freighter docks.

"Be safe, M'lady," said Captain I.

"Okay, and take care of Cheerleader, don't get her GRAPSED, and don't get her an elephant mask, don't get her CEREBELLUM'D, SAILING MISHAP'D, THREE NOSES, SQUISHED, eaten by some big monster, REJECTED, PLASTERED, THE CHEAT'D, or eaten by a shark," ordered Marzipan.

"I can take care of myself! But I'm concerned about you, Marzipan, what if they know you left the Capital?" asked Cheerleader.

"Then Homestar will take care of the enemies."

"Hey Homestar, don't do anything before talking to the Council," said Strong Bad.

"Okay Stwong Bad. Can I tell the Council to let me walk now?" asked Homestar.

"No, don't do anything important, like flying to Tatooine, or anything foolish or out of assignment without asking the Council."

"Oh! Okay," replied Homestar.

"And Senator, I'll get to the bottom of this plot, so you'll be back here in some time, and I will be the one with all the credit," said Strong Bad.

"Okay, thanks for that," replied Marzipan as she, Homestar, and Homsar exited the bus and walked to their spaceship.

"Suddenly, I'm afraid, I didn't tell Reynold to water my plants!" exclaimed Marzipan.

"Uh, at least we have this little guy," said Homestar.

"What does that have to do with anything?" asked Marzipan.

"I dunno, to cheew you up," replied Homestar as they went into the spaceship.

Inside that bus…

"I hope Homestar doesn't do anything foolish, but he will," hoped Strong Bad.

"I'd be more concerned about her doing something, than him," said Captain I.

Then the spaceship with Marzipan, Homestar, and Homsar flew away from the planet.

* * *

Meanwhile, Strong Bad went to downtown Coruscant and went to Bubs' Diner.

"Hey Bubs, there's someone to see you, and I think he's a Jedi," said a skating waitress droid before skating into a wall.

"Dumb droid!" said Bubs before looking at Strong Bad, "Oh! Hey Strong Bad! Have a seat!"

So Strong Bad and Bubs sat in a booth.

"You want a Cold One?" asked another skating waitress droid.

"Yes, do that," replied Strong Bad before the droid skated into the wall.

"Dumb droid, again! So, what can I do for you?" asked Bubs.

"What the crap is this?" asked Strong Bad before placing the toxic dart in front of Bubs.

"Oh wow! This is one of those Kamino saberdarts, which belongs to those dang cloners who never gave me any gifts!" exclaimed Bubs.

"A Kamino saberdart, eh Bubs? How come to analysis archive didn't know what this is?"

"Because they are stupid, compared to my droids," said Bubs as he pointed to the kitchen, where there were four droids.

"Thanks Bubs!" replied the droids before shutting down.

"Oops, must have run out of batteries," said Bubs.

"Okay, so where is this Kamino?" asked Strong Bad.

"Oh it's in the Outer Rim, past the Rishi Maze and Bubs' Space Concession Stand," replied Bubs.

"Who runs that concession stand?" asked Strong Bad.

"Oh some guy named Bubs," replied Bubs.

"So as you said, they're cloners. Are they friendly or hostile?" asked Strong Bad.

"It depends on how much money you have."

"No, seriously, are they going to rip my head off or not?" asked Strong Bad.

"It depends on how much money you have."

* * *

In the archive library, Strong Bad was sitting on a stool, using the Jedi Temple's Lappy 486. First, he checked his email and read it with difficulty:

**Dar StrongBad,**

**How do you types with boxing glove on?**

**Sincerelys,**

**Fred**

"Oh, good ones, Fred," typed Strong Bad, "Likes I don't got a lot of these emails every days! And my plurals and singles is just as good as yous. And yes, I was mocking your terrible grammar and spelling. Dar, how pathetic, not even knowing how to spell dear. As for your question, I'll just hold Alt and press D to DELETE YOUR EMAIL!" typed Strong Bad as he did so, deleting the email.

"Now let's go to planet search," said Strong Bad as he typed in the command to go to "Planetsearch Version 2". Then he typed find Kamino. The Lappy replied with "What is Kamino?"

"Oh, STUPID LIBRARY! IT CAN NEVER FIND ANYTHING!" shouted Strong Bad.

"How can I help you, sir?" asked What's Her Face.

"Yes, how come this stupid computer can't find Kamino?" asked Strong Bad.

"Maybe because it doesn't exist. BYE!" said What's Her Face as she walked away.

"Stupid library. I wish misfortune on her," muttered Strong Bad.

Suddenly, a dinosaur appeared and kicked What's Her Face into a wall. PUNT 2'D!

* * *

So Strong Bad decided to go to Pom-Pom for advice. Right now, Pom-Pom was training the younglings/Teeny Tiny Girl Squad plus Tompkins and Thomas in the training veranda. The younglings were learning how to use a lightsaber to deflect shots from little floating harmless droids. Young What's Her Face was hit by three lasers.

"_Use the Force, feel, don't think, help you it will, my talking about no idea,"_ Pom-Pom bubbled to the younglings as Strong Bad arrived, "_Younglings, a visitor we have, welcome him._"

"Hi Str… Master Strong Bad," said the younglings except for young Thomas, who wasn't into talking and was having a hard time taking off his helmet, which was too small for his head and was stuck.

"So, teaching these hopeless kids?" asked Strong Bad.

"_What help to you, can I be?"_ asked Pom-Pom.

"I'm looking for this planet named Kamino, but the freakin' planet search doesn't know what the crap Kamino is," explained Strong Bad.

"_Lost a planet, Master Strong Bad has. How embarrassing,"_ Pom-Pom bubbled, making the younglings laugh.

"Hey! Shut up!" shouted Strong Bad, accidentally kicking young What's Her Face away.

"_Fattycakes, the shades,"_ Pom-Pom bubbled as fat Cheerleader had pulled down the shades, "_An interesting puzzle. Gather around the map reader. Clear your minds and find Kamino we will."_

Strong Bad got a little glass ball and placed it into a bowl on top of a shaft, showing holograms of stars and planets.

"So Kamino has to be around here," said Strong Bad as he pointed somewhere, "But it isn't, for some stupid reason. And I know the location because Bubs told me where it is."

"_Most interesting. Kamino's location Bubs knows. Not shown, Kamino is. What wrong is this?"_ Pom-Pom bubbled.

"Uh, because someone erased it?" suggested Tompkins.

"_The Padawan is right. Go to where told you Bubs did and find Kamino you will,_" Pom-Pom bubbled.

So as he and Strong Bad walked away, Strong Bad used the Force on the little glass ball to pull it away, and then throw into young Ugly One for having a confusing gender.

"So, who erased the information? That's impossible, or was Kamino made a year ago?" asked Strong Bad.

"_Dangerous and disturbing this puzzle is. Only a Jedi could have erased those files. But who and why, harder to answer, and don't look at me. Meditate on this, I will. May the Force be with you,"_ Pom-Pom bubbled.

* * *

Meanwhile, the spaceship Homestar, Marzipan, and Homsar were on landed on Naboo. Soon, Homestar, Marzipan, and Homsar were in the grand courtyard of the Naboo palace. They were talking about something important about politics.

"So I might have been one of the youngest Queens, but looking back, I don't think I was old enough and ready, since there was the Trade Federation attack an Episode ago," explained Marzipan.

"What we'we you talking about? I thought we wewe talking about, uh… something," replied Homestar.

"Anyway, I was glad my two terms of being Queen were over. But when Queen Yatta asked me to become Senator for a million flowers, I couldn't refuse," explained Marzipan.

"What happened to youw flowews?" asked Homestar.

"Most of them were destroyed by bodyguards and withering," replied Marzipan, "Poor Credenza, at least we revived her, before they destroyed her again."

* * *

In the throne room of the Naboo Palace, Queen Yatta was seated on the throne while Mr. Bland, Marzipan, and other advisors sat on chairs. The rest and Homestar just stood by the chairs.

"…so it looks like there's going to be a civil war if an army is made," explained Marzipan.

"What? There hasn't been a full-scale war since the formation of the republic!" exclaimed Mr. Bland.

"Is there any way to make the separatists come back to the Republic?" asked Queen Yatta.

"I don't think so, unless they are threatened, but then they would go to the Trade Federation for help," replied Marzipan.

"And Blue Laser is still the viceroy of the Trade Federation!" said Mr. Bland.

"Okay, let's end this discussion with a speech!" said Queen Yatta, "Let's keep our faith in the Republic and our democracy! Okay, let's go and have fruit smoothies!"

"What is your suggestion, Master Jedi?" Mr. Bland asked Homestar as all were leaving.

"He's not a Jedi yet, he's just a Padawan learner. I think…" began Marzipan.

"Uh, Mawzipan, uh…" interrupted Homestar.

"…that I should take refuge in the Lake Country, where there are isolated places," finished Marzipan.

"How about…" began Homestar.

"No, we're going to the Lake Country, and that's final!" retorted Marzipan.

"Okay, no use to awgue against youw tantwums," replied the defeated Homestar.


	4. Chapter 4 Kamino and the Lake Country

**Chapter 4 – Kamino and the Lake Country**

In space, Strong Bad was flying in a small Starfighter with his little "droid", the Goblin, who he liked more than Homsar. Then the Starfighter disengaged from the hyperspace transport ring as it flew towards Kamino.

"There it is, Goblin, Kamino, our missing planet. You know, I like you better than that weird Homsar," said Strong Bad.

"(Merry organ notes)," replied the Goblin.

The Starfighter landed on a circular platform of Tipoca City in Kamino. Kamino was raining and looked like it never stopped raining, or faced sunlight. As soon as Strong Bad got out of the ship, he was soaked.

"Stupid rain! Has this planet ever faced sunlight at all?" asked Strong Bad.

"No, but thanks for repeating what I just said," replied Homer Starrun.

"Oh, sorry about that," replied Strong Bad as he put on his hood and walked towards the door the path led to.

Inside, Strong Bad took his hood off as he was greeted by Rather Dashing.

"Master Jedi, it's nice to see you. The King of Kamino is expecting you," said Rather Dashing.

"What? I'm expected. Whoa, maybe this planet is better than I expected it to be. Maybe there's going to be a party or a parade or something like that," said Strong Bad.

"No, you're just going to meet the King of Kamino. Follow me," ordered Rather Dashing as he "dashed" slowly down the corridor. His "dashing" was as fast as Strong Bad's walking.

In the King of Kamino's room, the King was having a meatball sub when Strong Bad and Rather Dashing entered the room.

"This is the King of Kamino, King of Kamino. M'lord with the unicorn shirt, may I present Master Jedi…" said Rather Dashing.

"Strong Bad," said Strong Bad.

"I trust you're going to enjoy your stay. I'm the King of Kamino of Kamino, but you can call me the King of Peasantry," said the King of Peasantry.

"Or the King with that Unicorn shirt," said Strong Bad.

"Hey! You will not sass back at this council about this unicorn! Anyway, let's go to business. You'll be delighted to know we're on schedule, two hundred thousand units are ready, and a million more are on their way," said the King of Peasantry.

"Um, I guess that's good news," replied Strong Bad.

"Please tell Master Dorka-Dyas that we have every confidence his order will be met on time and in full. He is well, and dumb, I hope?" asked the King of Peasantry.

"Um, Dorka-Dyas died ten years ago, he was murdered by possums, or so to speak," said Strong Bad.

"Oh, that's too bad, but he would have been proud of the army we made for him. Maybe we can use the clone army to kill the possums."

"So, when Dorka-Dyas asked for an army, did he say who it was for?" asked Strong Bad.

"Yeah, the Republic, and now, let's show you the army," said the King of Peasantry.

"Um, okay, let's go," said Strong Bad with no clue on what to do.

* * *

In the Naboo Lake Retreat, Homestar and Marzipan walked towards the balustrade before the lake.

"When I was young, we, as in me and some other girls, used to come here for school retreat. And we would do some stuff like swimming to the island over there," explained Marzipan, "Then we would lie on the sand, letting the sun dry us, and try to guess the names of the birds singing, unless it's a bird cloud."

Then Homestar picked up some sand on the balustrade.

"I don't like sand. It's so, uh… sandy. But with you, it's not so… sandy," said Homestar.

"Oh Homestar, that's so sweet!" remarked Marzipan.

"Yeah, and not, so… sandy," added Homestar.

Then they looked at each other for a moment. Then Marzipan asked, "Well, aren't you going to do it?"

"Do what?" asked Homestar.

"Kiss me," replied Marzipan.

"Ew! Gwoss! You think I would kiss giwls?" Homestar asked Homer Starrun.

"Um, you're supposed to," replied Homer Starrun.

"Actually, this kiss isn't supposed to count. Maybe next time, you'll mature," said Marzipan with some anger and disappointment.

* * *

In Kamino, the King of Peasantry and Rather Dashing were showing Strong Bad the clone army.

"We take pride in the clones we made and their combat education and training programs," said the King of Peasantry.

"Oh, I see. So they have growth acceleration, right?" asked Strong Bad.

"That's right. They grow twice as fast as regular people, so they can mature quickly."

"What would happen if you quadruple the growth, so there's more clones?" asked Strong Bad.

"Good point, never thought of that," admitted the King of Peasantry.

While talking, they passed by clones in a classroom (they were all children). Then they passed by a cafeteria where the clones were eating (with empty plates), and there were no food fights. All of the clones looked like Stinkoman.

"The clones are obedient and less independent than their original host," explained the King of Peasantry.

"Who is their original host?" asked Strong Bad.

"Stinkoman, a bounty hunter," replied the King of Peasantry.

"Oh right. So he stays where?" asked Strong Bad.

"Oh, we keep him here. And apart from his pay, he wanted an unaltered clone of himself. Unfortunately, something went wrong in the cloning process, and the clone looked nothing like Stinkoman, unless he will look like Stinkoman when he grows older."

"Okay, so can I meet this Stinkoman?" asked Strong Bad.

"I can take you there!" replied Rather Dashing.

Then from a balcony, they watched clone troopers fully-grown have army training.

* * *

In a mountain meadow in Naboo, Homestar and Marzipan were sitting on the grass.

"So, there was this one boy named Palo. And then he became an artist instead of a politician, so I never met him again, and then he drew this weird picture, got into a fight, and cut off his…" began Marzipan.

"Eaw?" asked Homestar.

"Ew, that's sick! He cut off his… oh wait, that's sicker," said Marzipan.

"Anyway, I think the Senate sucks! I think that they should all sit down, talk, be boring, and agwee on something befowe lunchtime," said Homestar.

"Um, that's how we do it, except we don't agree on stuff a lot, and we always finish after dinnertime," replied Marzipan.

"Then let's have someone make them do it," said Homestar.

"Like you?" asked Marzipan.

"Um, I don't know. How about you?" asked Homestar.

"Are you teasing me?" asked Marzipan.

"Oh no! I teased baseball bat head!" exclaimed Homestar.

Later, they played around. Homestar tried to stand on Poor Gary, who was galloping down the meadow. Suddenly, Poor Gary literally threw Homestar off, galloped over him, and galloped off. So Marzipan ran up to Homestar.

"Homestar! Are you all right?" asked Marzipan.

"Welcome to the pie family," replied Homestar, dizzily, "I'd like Jedi pies."

* * *

In Kamino, Strong Bad and Rather Dashing went to Stinkoman's apartment. When they knocked on the door, 1-Up answered the door.

"1-Up, is the Guy here?" asked Rather Dashing.

"Of course he is! Come in!" replied 1-Up.

So they walked inside the apartment.

"Hey Stinkoman! This guy with dumb pants is here again!" shouted 1-Up before Stinkoman jumped out of his room and into the room where the three were.

"WHY did you have to INTERRUPT my whatever activity?" asked Stinkoman.

"Uh, this is Jedi Master, Strong Bad," said Rather Dashing.

"Well, Stinkoman, nice clones you have there," commented Strong Bad.

"THANKS! I'm just trying to make my way into the universe!" replied Stinkoman.

"So, ever been to Coruscant?" asked Strong Bad.

"MAYBE RECENTLY!" replied Stinkoman, raising a fist and a leg for no reason.

"Then you must know Master Dorka-Dyas."

"Hey kid, shut the door!" ordered Stinkoman.

Then 1-Up closed Stinkoman's bedroom door, where Strong Bad spied Stinkoman's bounty hunter armor.

"Master who?" asked Stinkoman.

"Not Master Who, who was killed by a pebble. The guy who made you be cloned and stuff," replied Strong Bad.

"I never heard of him," replied Stinkoman.

"What? Oh man, this is more confusing!"

"I was hired by a guy named Darth Zee on one of those moons over there."

"Hmm, another Sith?" asked Strong Bad.

"I don't know what you're TALKING about! LIKE the army?" asked Stinkoman.

"Of course! It'll be so cool to see them in action!" replied Strong Bad.

"It'll be so COOL! GUARANTEED!" shouted Stinkoman.

"Okay, bye," said Strong Bad as he got ready to leave.

"SEE YA, JEDI!" shouted Stinkoman.

So Strong Bad and Rather Dashing left the apartment.

"Hey kid, pack up! We're leaving!" ordered Stinkoman.

"All right! A space trip!" exclaimed 1-Up.

* * *

In the dining room of the lake retreat in the evening, Homestar and Marzipan were having dessert, which was made up of Deauregard the cantaloupe.

"And then, we went to aggwesive negotiations, whewe we negotiated with a lightsabew," explained Homestar.

"Nice story," remarked Marzipan in interest.

"What stowy? Oh cwap! I missed it!" exclaimed Homestar.

As Marzipan tried to stab the cantaloupe with her fork, Homestar used to Force to bring the cantaloupe to him. However, he tried a little too hard, for the cantaloupe flew smack into his face. The result: Homestar had a juicy face while the cantaloupe was in edible pieces that landed on his plate. Then Homestar sent a piece to Marzipan by using the Force, which landed on Marzipan's fork.

In the lodge of the lake retreat, Homestar and Marzipan talked. 

"Um, I don't know, but BE MY GIWLFWIEND!" shouted Homestar.

"But I can't. We live in a real world, well, not exactly. You're a Jedi Knight, I'm a Senator. So we can't be together!" shouted Marzipan.

"Then let's keep it in secwet," suggested Homestar.

"That's crazy. We'd be ruining our lives," replied Marzipan.

"Okay, you know, this convewsation is extwemely showt compawed to the othew vewsion," remarked Homestar.

"That's because the author doesn't really like corny scenes/conversations, or at least, that's what Queen Yatta told me," explained Marzipan.

* * *

In Kamino, Strong Bad went back to his Starfighter.

"Hey The Goblin, send a message to Master Pom-Pom, and maybe Strong Mad," ordered Strong Bad.

So, a hologram of Strong Bad appeared in Pom-Pom's quarters, where Pom-Pom and Strong Mad were.

"YOU'RE BACK!" shouted Strong Mad as he attempted to hug Strong Bad's hologram.

"Easy there, fella, brother, Master, whatever. I need to talk to Pom… Master Pom-Pom," said Strong Bad before Strong Mad stopped his hugging, "I found some stuff out. They're using bounty hunter Stinkoman to create a clone army. And I think this is the assassin we're looking for. If not, this trip is a waste, for I never got my parade/party."

"MARZIPAN ASSASSINATION?" asked Strong Mad.

"I don't think so," replied Strong Bad.

"_Do not assume anything, Strong Bad. Clear, your mind must be if you are to discover the real villains behind the plot,"_ Pom-Pom bubbled.

"Okay. They say Master Dorka-Dyas placed the order for the clone army. He was killed by possums before that, right? Did the Council ever authorize the creation of this clone army?" asked Strong Bad.

"NO!" replied Strong Mad.

"_Into custody, take this Stinkoman. Bring him here. Question him, we will, if you bring him alive, unlike that Sith one episode ago,"_ Pom-Pom bubbled.

"Hey! That Sith killed Coach Z!" retorted Strong Bad as his hologram faded.

"_Blind we are, if creation of this clone army we could not see,"_ Pom-Pom bubbled.

"LET'S TELL THE SENATE! NO MORE FORCE!" shouted Strong Mad.

"_Only the Dark Lords of the Sith know of our weakness, if alive they are, and hope not, I do. If informed the Senate is, multiply our adversaries will,"_ Pom-Pom bubbled.

"I DON'T GET YOU!" shouted Strong Mad.

* * *

In Homestar's bedroom in the lake retreat, Homestar was having nightmares of Unnamed. Once again, he was sleeping with cinnamon all over his mouth. That morning, Homestar was looking at the ducks outside for some reason. Maybe they were duck-clouds. Then Marzipan came and decided to leave Homestar.

"Don't go, you'we not supposed to," said Homestar.

"So, you had another nightmare?" asked Marzipan.

"Jedi don't have nightmawes," replied Homestar.

"But you're not really one. You're just a Padawan learner," said Marzipan.

"Okay! Let's go to Tatooine to save Unnamed, fow something bad's happening to hew. Come with me!" said Homestar.


	5. Chapter 5 Things Get a Little More Inte...

**Chapter 5 – Things Get a Little More Interesting**

In Kamino, Stinkoman and 1-Up were getting ready to leave in their spaceship, the Slave I. 1-Up saw Strong Bad coming.

"Hey Stinkoman! That shirtless guy with weird hands and head is coming!" alerted 1-Up.

"GET IN THE SHIP!" shouted the armored Stinkoman as Strong Bad ignited his lightsaber.

Then Stinkoman fired at Strong Bad with his blaster. Strong Bad deflected each shot with his lightsaber easily. Just as Strong Bad was about to strike at Stinkoman with his lightsaber, Stinkoman used his jet pack to fly away from Strong Bad. On top of a tower, Stinkoman shot a missile at Strong Bad, sending Strong Bad away as he wasn't hit.

1-Up decided to be of use as he used the ship controls to fire laser blasts at Strong Bad. The explosions caused by the laser blasts caused Strong Bad to let go of his lightsaber. Then Stinkoman flew to Strong Bad when Strong Bad punched Stinkoman, sending him away while hurting his own boxing glove, or hand, whatever.

"Ow, that armor is like a freakin' wall," remarked Strong Bad.

Suddenly, Stinkoman punched Strong Bad away. As they fought, Strong Bad tried to Force summon his lightsaber. As he did so, Stinkoman fired a thin wire which wrapped Strong Bad's arms together and flew into the air, making Strong Bad fly with him, not getting his lightsaber. While flying, Strong Bad hung onto a column, sending Stinkoman back to the ground by the edge of the platform. Then Strong Bad used his right boxing glove to punch Stinkoman off.

"YEAH! I did it!" exclaimed Strong Bad when he noticed the thin wire attached also to Stinkoman going down the edge, "Oh crap, I did something dumb."

Then Strong Bad fell down the edge as well. While falling down the slanted surface, Stinkoman used his forearm claws onto the surface to stop them from falling, but Strong Bad was in a hanging on string position. Then Stinkoman ejected the thin wire, making Strong Bad fall to the water.

While falling, Strong Bad untied the string and use the Force to tie it to a pole to prevent Strong Bad from falling. When Stinkoman looked down, he saw nothing but water, thinking Strong Bad drowned. Then he climbed up the surface. Then Strong Bad swung himself to the nearest platform, used the Force to open a door, and ran inside.

Then Stinkoman went back in the Slave I, which was ready to fly away. Then Strong Bad came with his lightsaber back and ignited it. Seeing it was too late to capture Stinkoman, he threw a tracking device on the ship, which stuck to the hull of the ship flying away from the watery planet.

"Well, at least I can get away from the crappy planet of never-ending water," said Strong Bad as he walked away.

* * *

The Nubian ship with Homestar, Marzipan, and Homsar landed in a landing place in the Tatooine city of Mos Espa. Then Homestar and Marzipan rode on a rickshaw driven by a droid, forgetting to bring Homsar, who was walking behind them. Finally, they stopped in front of The Cheat's shop and went to The Cheat, having trouble fixing a pit droid.

"Hey The Cheat!" said Homestar.

"_Who the crap are you?"_ asked The Cheat in his language.

Then Homestar picked up the pit droid and began fixing it like a master.

"_Wait, you're a Jedi! Please don't hurt me with your lightsaber! I didn't do anything bad, besides cheating on that girlfriend and doing other bad stuff,"_ pleaded The Cheat.

"Uh, whatevew. Where's Unnamed whatevew hew last name was?" asked Homestar.

Then The Cheat looked at him suspiciously, "_You're not Homestar."_ But then, the pit droid Homestar was fixing came back to life, "_You are Homestar! Whoa! You're a Jedi! Wait, you haven't changed at all! Why couldn't I recognize you? Must be those cigarettes. Anyway, how about you blackmail these idiots who owe me money?"_

"What about Unnamed?" asked Homestar.

"_Oh right, that one slave. Look, I sold her to Cliegg Depot for more money, you know, since business is business, and Coach Z destroyed mine, as well as you! Anyway, then this Depot freed and married her. I think that's illegal, or deleted, am I confusing you?"_ asked The Cheat.

"What? Uh, whewe is she?" asked Homestar.

"_Maybe in a moisture farm near Mos Eisley."_

"Whewe's that?"

"_Uh, here's a map!"_ shouted The Cheat as he threw a folded piece of paper at Homestar.

"Uh, how do I open it?" asked Homestar.

"_Ugh!"_ shouted The Cheat before Marzipan opened the folded piece of paper and Homestar looked at it.

"How do I wead it?" asked Homestar, driving The Cheat insane.

* * *

Outside the planet Geonosis, Strong Bad's Starfighter continued to chase the Slave I. In the cockpit of the Slave I, 1-Up saw something besides asteroids on the ship's system.

"Hey The Guy! I think that guy's following us again!" said 1-Up.

"OH man! He must've tracked us! Let's do some TRICKS!" shouted Stinkoman.

So the Slave I went into the asteroid field surrounding Geonosis with Strong Bad following. Suddenly, the Slave I sent a charge flying in Strong Bad's direction.

"Uh oh, this is going to be messy," remarked Strong Bad.

Suddenly, the charge blew up in two blue rings shaped in a cross and the seismic charges blew up all asteroids around the exploding range. Strong Bad wasn't hit.

"That's not messy, that's cool!" exclaimed Strong Bad.

So another charge was released. The same thing happened, which was pretty cool.

"WHAT'S wrong with him?" asked Stinkoman.

Then the two ships flew into an asteroid tunnel. The Slave I did a somersault so in the end, it was chasing Strong Bad's ship.

"Now, fire!" shouted 1-Up.

"Who are you to order me around?" asked Stinkoman.

Then the Slave I fired lasers at Strong Bad's ship as they got out of that asteroid tunnel.

"Oh crap! This is why I hate flying!" exclaimed Strong Bad.

One of the lasers struck the ship, nearly hitting The Goblin.

"Hey the guy, you hit his ship!" exclaimed 1-Up.

"Let's FINISH him off!" said Stinkoman.

Then the Slave I sent a heat-seeking missile at Strong Bad. No matter how he good he was in evading (which was pretty good for one who doesn't like flying), the heat-seeking missile continued to chase Strong Bad.

"Hey The Goblin, release the spare part canisters," ordered Strong Bad.

The ship released some metal which was what the missile struck; causing a huge explosion that didn't kill Strong Bad. But 1-Up and Stinkoman thought differently.

"HE'S DEAD!" shouted Stinkoman.

Then the Slave I flew to Geonosis and flew into a Trade Federation ship on the ground which was large enough for the Slave I in the desert (which is the best way to describe the whole planet). However, Strong Bad's ship was hiding on an asteroid (in space, obviously), well out of the Slave I's scanning range.

"Okay The Goblin, let's go. Oh wait, I'm flying the ship," remembered Strong Bad as he flew to Geonosis, where he noticed the Trade Federation ships, "Oh man! Blue Laser's involved in this, I know it! I hated his voice. When will he ever quit?"

The ship landed in an empty place far away from the Federation ships. Then Strong Bad looked around to investigate.

* * *

In Tatooine, the Nubian ship landed in front of the Depot's or whatever's moisture farm. Homestar and Marzipan got out and walked towards it while Homsar was ordered to stay in the ship (and perhaps have freeze-dried food if needed, which isn't). They saw Strong Sad doing some work when he noticed the visitors.

"Oh, uh, hi, I'm Strong…" Strong Sad began to say when Homestar finished with, "Sad?"

"Oh Homestar! You've returned, as well as Marzipan, and I would have to do even more work," said Strong Sad, sadly.

"Hello Strong Sad. How's life? Sad?" asked Marzipan.

"As usual, sad."

"Whewe's that woman you wowked fow?" asked Homestar.

"Uh, let's go inside," decided Strong Sad.

So they went inside the moisture farm, where The Owen and The Beru came to meet the visitors.

"I'm Homestaw Wunnew!" said Homestar.

"Homestaw Wunnew?" asked The Beru.

"No! Homestaw Wunnew!"

"I'm The Owen and this is The Beru," said The Owen.

"I'm Marzipan," said Marzipan, feeling a bit left out.

"Hello green toothpick," said The Owen.

"You have a dumb name," remarked The Beru.

"So whewe's that oldew woman besides that mowon bwoom," said Homestar before he saw Marzipan looking at him angrily, "The othew mowon."

"She's not here," wheezed Cliegg Depot as he hobbled to the scene, since he had one foot and a peg leg and a cane, "The name's Depot, Cliegg Depot, and I have the license to… never mind, I've been watching too much James Bond Tatooine plays in hosted in Mos Eisley."

"Uh, nevew mind about that. Just whewe is she?" asked Homestar.

"Let's talk in the office, er, kitchen," replied Cliegg Depot.

* * *

In the homestead kitchen, Cliegg, The Owen, Homestar, and Marzipan sat around the table while The Beru served a tray of drinks.

"I forgot to put the drinks in the glasses!" said The Beru, but no one cared, for they were listening to Cliegg, and Cliegg was talking.

"Anyway, it was before dawn when Unnamed went to go get mushrooms from that one place like, a mile away. When she was halfway there, somehow, the Marshies took her. The Marshies are vicious, freaky, mindless monsters," explained Cliegg Depot.

"I agwee," agreed Homestar.

"Thirty of us went to save her, only four of us came back, minus my leg. I didn't want to meet you like this, but she's been gone a month or two or three or four or one, but I don't think she's still alive," wheezed Cliegg Depot.

"Okay, I'm going to find Unnamed, bye!" said Homestar as he left.

"But wait! It's hopeless! Oh well, maybe I oughta find another wife with a son," said Cliegg Depot.

Outside the farm, Homestar was looking at something, maybe a predator eating its prey, when Marzipan came.

"Stay hewe, fow the Mawshies don't like bwoom i… Mawzipans," said Homestar.

"Oh Homestar!" said Marzipan as she tried to hug Homestar when she realized she can't if neither of them had arms.

"I gotta go!" said Homestar as he went onto a kiddie bike and pedaled away slowly.

"Homestar, I think that speeder bike's faster and more efficient," said Marzipan.

"Okay, bye!" said Homestar as he kicked the bike away, got into the speeder bike, and sped away to look for Unnamed.

Homestar sped through the Tatooine landscape, looking for the Marshie camps. He asked some Unguraits for directions, and continued looking for the camps after risking being eaten as Homestar Casserole by the Unguraits.


	6. Chapter 6 Learning about Some Things an...

This is the chapter where Zee-Gee-Oh (Count Dooku being played by 20X6 Coach Z (Zee-Gee-Oh is my name for him)) makes his appearance, as well as the Separatists. Also, this is where Anakin kills the tusken raiders, but things are not what they seem (I had to change the plot a little in order to keep Homestar in character).**

* * *

**

**Chapter 6 – Learning about Some Things and Evil**

Strong Bad walked up to an entrance of a tall rock tower shaped like stalagmites. He looked around while being careful not to be found. Then he saw something peculiar: a battle droid factory. After seeing that, he snuck around for a few minutes, finding nothing, until he heard voices. He hid behind a pillar as Fhqwhgads the Lesser, Zee-Gee-Oh, Blue Laser, as well as other separatists, walked by, discussing political matters.

"Now we must persuade the Commerce Guild and Corporate Alliance to sign the treaty," said Zee-Gee-Oh with Christopher Lee's voice (the guy who played Count Dooku and Saruman of Lord of the Rings).

"WHAT ABOUT THE SENATOR FROM NABOO? I STILL WANT HER DEAD! IN FACT, I WANT HER BASEBALL BAT SHAPED HEAD ON MY DESK SO I CAN SIGN YOUR TREATY!" screeched Blue Laser.

"I'm a man of my word, Viceroy," replied Zee-Gee-Oh.

"With our new Battle Droids we built for you, Viceroy, we'll have the finest army in the galaxy," said Visor Robot.

Then the separatists sat around a conference table with Strong Bad spying on them.

"And now, I'll make a speech. More systems will join us. And blah, blah, blah, blah. And when we combine Blue Laser's battle droids with yours, we'll have the finest army in the galaxy, and I don't care if you already said that, Visor. The Jedi will be overwhelmed. The Republic will agree to any demands we make," explained Zee-Gee-Oh.

"…" said the Poopsmith.

"That's all we ask," replied Zee-Gee-Oh with no clue what was said to him.

"I think the Banking Clan will sign your treaty," said an Olda Boy.

"I miss my mom," said another Olda Boy.

"The Techno Unions are at your disposal, Count," said Visor Robot before going out of control and blowing up its head, revealing a red light bulb, "Not agaiiiinnnn…" as the robot's voice faded away.

"Good, good, one less annoying separatist," said Zee-Gee-Oh.

So Strong Bad moved away from his hiding spot and went towards the exit.

* * *

Homestar snuck into the Marshie camp. He saw a hut with two Marshies guarding the doorway. So, he went to the back of the hut and used his lightsaber to cut a hole in the wall. Then he went in through the hole. Inside, he saw some candles and Unnamed strapped to a wooden frame. So Homestar took the Velcro straps off and freed Unnamed, who woke up.

"So, wemembew me?" asked Homestar.

"Homestar? Is that you?" asked Unnamed, who looked like she was beaten up.

"You'we safe, since I'm hewe. Well, maybe not," said Homestar.

"Oh, you look so, the same as Episode I. My, er, 'son', my 'son' is here. I'm so proud of you, Homestar. And now, I'm complete," said Unnamed weakly.

"Uh, okay, now let's take you to the Depot moistuwe fawm," said Homestar.

"I… I lov… I lo… I love…" Unnamed tried to say something, but then she died.

"Oh, she must be sleeping," said Homestar, "All wight, I'll walk awound."

So Homestar walked around in a circle until he stubbed his toe on the cross Unnamed was just freed from.

"Ow! That huwt! Those Mawshies awe going to pay fow they'we poow intewiow decowating!" shouted Homestar as he ignited his lightsaber.

Then Homestar ran outside and began slicing up the Marshies, beginning with the Marshie guards.

"Ow! My marshmallow!" exclaimed some Marshies before dying.

Along with the Marshies, Homestar also killed the Mrs. Marshies, Marshie Juniors, Uncle Marshies, Sear-g-geant Marshies, Vampire Marshies, and other Marshies.

* * *

In the Jedi Temple, Pom-Pom was meditating. Suddenly, he heard the voice of Coach Z, who was killed an episode ago, for those readers who didn't read the first Episode.

"Hamstray! Homegrown! Stairmaster! Homestar! NO!" cried out Coach Z's voice.

Then Strong Mad ran through the wall and jumped onto a chair, crushing it.

"WHAT MOVED MY CHEESE?" shouted Strong Mad.

"_Pain. Suffering. Death, I feel. Something terrible has happened. Young and naive Runner is in pain. Terrible pain, or stubbed toes,"_ Pom-Pom bubbled.

* * *

In Geonosis, Strong Bad went to his Starfighter. He examined the transmitter dish.

"Well Goblin, the transmitter's working, but we can't get a return signal. Coruscant is too far, unfortunately. Hey Goblin, can you boost the power?" asked Strong Bad.

"(Merry organ notes)," replied Goblin.

"I think I'm changing my opinion about you and Homsar. Maybe I can contact Homestar on Naboo, you know, since it's closer" said Strong Bad as he went into the cockpit, "Homestar, Homestar, do you copy? Well, he's not in Naboo, and that's not surprising. I'm going to widen the search and not be surprised something happened to him," said Strong Bad.

While Strong Bad did so, a Fhqwhgads spied Strong Bad and his Starfighter from an overlooking cliff. Meanwhile, Strong Bad found where Homestar was.

"Well, that's the tracking system Homestar accidentally ate, which was disgusting, but good thing that was indigestible. But it's coming from Tatooine. What the crap is he doing on Tatooine? I told him to stay on Naboo! Not that you can expect a lot from that idiot," said Strong Bad as he got out of the cockpit and spoke to Goblin in order to transmit his message.

"Homestar, Homestar, you there? This is Strong Bad," said Strong Bad as he heard a screech, or a quack.

* * *

In the Nubian ship in Tatooine, Homsar was working on receiving the message from Strong Bad, which started to fade away due to Strong Bad's damaged ship.

Meanwhile, Homestar came back to the Depot Moisture Farm on the speeder bike, carrying Unnamed's body in a sack. He carried the body to the homestead while The Owen, The Beru, Cliegg, Marzipan, and Strong Sad watched.

"Shh, she's sleeping," said Homestar.

"Homestar, she's dead," said Marzipan.

"Oh," replied Homestar.

"I knew she's going to die. As I said, each day we die a little more," said Strong Sad mournfully.

"I just wish you leave us alone," said The Owen.

* * *

In the garage of the homestead, Homestar was fixing the speeder bike when Marzipan came, carrying a tray of tofu.

"I brought you some tofu, just in case you're hungry, and you seem to appreciate the tofu a little bit these days and…" began Marzipan before Homestar interrupted.

"I'm good at fixing things. Life is bettew that way. But…" began Homestar.

"I know, you're all upset about your, er, pretend mother die," said Marzipan to comfort Homestar.

"No! But, why did I have to stub my toe? It huwts!" cried out Homestar.

"Oh, so you don't care if your pretend mother died?" asked Marzipan.

"What's dying?" asked Homestar.

"It's when people… stops living," explained Marzipan.

"Uh, I don't know what you meant," replied Homestar.

"Well, people have to die, like my un-watered plants, but you're not all-powerful," said Marzipan, ignoring the last question.

"WHAT? I should be! You know, since, I'm, the Chosen None, I mean, Chosen One!" retorted Homestar, "I think I can stop people fwom dying, whatevew that is! And I should stop all stubbed toes!"

"Homestar…"

"It's all Stwong Bad's fault, making me look stupid, making me think I'm stupid, calling me stupid, even though I'm stupid," complained Homestar, "It's his fault, with his selfishness and self-… uh, I don't know what wowd it is, but it's Stwong Bad's fault! He's the one who gave me the cottage cheese and The Cheat hair instead of the sou-whu cweam and The Cheat haiw, and he's the one who told me my cweepy Daisy Dukes wewen't long pants!" shouted Homestar as he threw the wrench at another piece of machinery, setting it on fire, "I, uh, I didn't do that, as well as making the Marshies, uh, it's, uh, this new wowd called die."

"Homestar, what's wrong with you? And what did you just say?" asked Marzipan.

"All wight, I'll tell. I made them die. I made them all die. They die, evewy single one of them! But not just the men, but the women, and the children too, and the old guys, and the vampiwes, and that fat Mawshie, and the solidew! They'we like animals! And I made them die like animals!" explained Homestar.

"How dare you insult animals!" shouted Marzipan.

"I hate those fweakin' mawshmallows!" shouted Homestar (ignoring Marzipan), making Marzipan slap him three times to bring him back to his old self.

"To be angry is to be human," said Marzipan.

"But I'm a Jedi, maybe a Padawan leawnew, and I suck, but I'm supposed to be bettew than this!" said Homestar before fainting from the rage and confessions.

"I guess I can eat this tofu myself, since the Depots prefer lint over this," muttered Marzipan.

* * *

Later, Unnamed was buried in her grave. Then her family, Marzipan, and Strong Sad gathered around the grave.

"I know that wherever you are, it's better than here, since the farm sucks! Well, goodbye, my wife," said Cliegg as he hobbled away.

Then Homestar went to the grave.

"Uh, I think I'm bettew than this, so I will! So, bye, and I'll miss you, whewevew that one-legged guy said you wewe," said Homestar.

Then Homsar came.

"Homsar? What are you doing here?" asked Marzipan.

"Bombs for the cherries! Knives for the wonders!" replied Homsar.

"I can translate this!" said Strong Sad.

"You can? I thought you were a waste of space," said Cliegg Depot.

"No, I'm a waste of fat space. Anyway, he said there's a message from Strong Bad. Homestar, who is this guy? I don't want to know, but who is he?" asked Strong Sad.

* * *

In the cockpit of the Nubian ship, Homestar and Marzipan were in front of Strong Bad's hologram.

"Homestar, Homestar, you there? This is Strong Bad. If you're smart enough, my long-range transmitter's knocked out, so retransmit this message to Coruscant. If you can't do it, make Marzipan do it," ordered Strong Bad.

So Marzipan went to the control board and pressed a button, and Strong Bad's hologram appeared in the Chancellor's office in Coruscant, which was full of Jedis and politicians obviously talking about the conflict of the vote for the army.

"I have tracked the bounty hunter, Stinkoman, to the droid foundries of Geonosis," said Strong Bad.

"What does that mean?" asked Homestar.

"Ssh," ordered Marzipan.

"What does that mean?" asked Jedi Knight Teenager Tompkins.

"Shh," ordered Jedi Knight Senor.

"The Trade Federation is taking delivery of a droid army here and it is clear that Viceroy Blue Laser is behind the assassination attempts against Senator Marzipan, unless Homestar accidentally killed her," explained Strong Bad.

"I did not! Take that back!" shouted Homestar.

"Homestar, it's a hologram, he can't answer you," said Marzipan.

"The Commerce Guile and Corporate Alliance have both pledged their armies to Zee-Gee-Oh and are forming an… wait… Wait! Oh crap! Those deflector shield droids! I hated those!" exclaimed Strong Bad as he got out his lightsaber and began deflecting laser blasts. Then his hologram moved away as a hologram of a droideka appeared, shooting at Strong Bad, "NOT COOL!" shouted Strong Bad as the droideka disappeared from view.

In the Chancellor office…

"_More happening on Geonosis, I feel, than has been revealed,"_ Pom-Pom bubbled.

"WE'RE GOING TO WAR! PROTECT BROOM! STRONG BAD!" shouted Strong Mad as his hologram disappeared.

"Okay Stwong Mad," said Homestar in the Nubian ship, not aware that Strong Mad didn't hear him, not that he needed to.

"They'll never get in time to save him! Geonosis is less than a parsec away from here!" said Marzipan.

"Mawzipan, what the cwap is a pawsec?" asked Homestar, "And let's not go, Stwong Bad can take cawe of himself."

"Homestar? Is that you?" asked Marzipan.

"Of couwse, duh!" replied Homestar, "Otherwise, I'm Kevin DuBwow!"

"You're not Kevin. But I'm going to save Strong Bad so I can get some medal or promotion, or some new plants that don't need water! And if you want to protect me, you will have to follow me!" retorted Marzipan.

"Okay, you win again," agreed Homestar with reluctance.

Then the Nubian ship began to fly away with the two and Homsar and Strong Sad, who came in for a reason.

"Wait, why am I here? It's against the law! You're kidnapping me!" exclaimed Strong Sad.

"No more FBI to save solo!" shouted Homsar.

"Yeah, and they don't like me anyway," agreed Strong Sad.


	7. Chapter 7 The Droid Factory

**Chapter 7 – The Droid Factory**

In the Chancellor office, the politicians and Jedi were having a discussion about the new situation.

"Uh, so what should we do?" asked Lem Sportsinterviews.

"I dornk this hula hoods uber. Weneeder sausage," mumbled Senor Cardgage.

"No, it's not over! The Senate will never approve of the use of clones before the separatists attack!" argued the Prince of Town, who was good in arguing.

"This is a crisis! The Senate must vote the Chancellor emergency powers! He could then approve the use of the clones!" exclaimed Lem Sportsinterviews.

"Shut up vord," mumbled Senor Cardgage.

"But what senator would do something to give me emergency powers? All Senators but Marzipan suck, and I'm the Chancellor, so I don't count," said Homeschool.

"If only Senator Marzipan was here," said Lem Sportsinterviews.

Just then, everybody in the room glared at Reynold, who was nervous at being stared at like that.

"_I wish I was home in Naboo in the Cheat Commandos Underwater Playset,_" thought Reynold.

* * *

In Geonosis, Zee-Gee-Oh went to Strong Bad's prison cell guarded by two Fhqwhgads. Strong Bad was floating over a platform, restrained by some blue electric rope.

"Traitor, uncool guy, dork, you dated your mother!" said Strong Bad.

"How did you know? Anyway, this is a big mistake, a terrible mistake! I'll have them free you in no time, maybe!" said Zee-Gee-Oh.

"Well, that's kind of you, since I have work to do," replied Strong Bad.

"So, what is a Jedi Knight like you doing here in Geonosis?" asked Zee-Gee-Oh.

"I've been tracking down a bounty hunter named Stinkoman. Know him?"

"There are no bounty hunters here that I'm aware of. Fhqwhgads don't trust them."

"Who can blame them? In fact, people feel sorry for them for some reason. I do. Anyway, the bounty hunter _is_ here," said Strong Bad.

"Too bad we never met before. Coach Z spoke highly of you. I wish he was still alive. I could use his help right now," said Zee-Gee-Oh.

"Coach Z would never join you," retorted Strong Bad.

"But, my young Jedi…" began Zee-Gee-Oh.

"Don't say that! That's embarrassing! I'm already a master of a stupid apprentice!" interrupted Strong Bad.

"Anyway, if you do remember, Coach Z was my apprentice, just like you were his, and your stupid apprentice is yours," explained Zee-Gee-Oh, "He knew all about the corruption of the Senate and the truth."

"The truth?" asked Strong Bad.

"The truth. What if I told you the Republic was now under control of the Dark Lord of the Sith?" asked Zee-Gee-Oh.

"Well, that would suck, except the Jedi would know if the Sith do," replied Strong Bad.

"The Dark Side of the Force has clouded their vision, my young J… Strong Bad. Hundreds of Senators are now in the influence of a Sith Lord named Darth Sidious," explained Zee-Gee-Oh.

"I don't think so."

"One episode ago, the Viceroy of the Trade Federation was in the league of Darth Sidious. But he was betrayed by the Dark Lord. He came to me for help. He told me everything. But overall, if you join me, together, we will destroy the Sith," explained Zee-Gee-Oh.

"I'll never join you, Zee-Gee-Dork," replied Strong Bad.

As Zee-Gee-Oh was leaving, he said to Strong Bad, "Then you won't be released, and I think you'll be killed in execution, so, bye."

"Maybe I should have joined him," muttered Strong Bad as Zee-Gee-Oh left.

* * *

In the Chamber of the Galactic Senate, Strong Mad was guided to where Pom-Pom was by an employee droid who used polite words to avoid being pummeled physically, Forced by Strong Mad, or being a victim of Strong Mad's lightsaber. Pom-Pom was on a ledge, watching the Senate discuss the events and giving emergency powers to the Senate.

"Senators, fellow delegates, whatever that means," said Reynold, "In response to the direct threat to the Republic, I propose that the Senate give immediately emergency powers to the Supreme Chancellor."

This caused all Senators to cheer for Reynold, chanting "REYNOLD! REYNOLD! REYNOLD!" over and over again until Lem Sportsinterviews made them shut up with a big old, "SHUT UP!"

Then Homeschool stood up and made a speech, "It is with great reluctance that I have agreed to this calling. I love democracy... I love the Republic, I guess. But I am mild by nature, and I do not desire to see the destruction of democracy. The power you give me I will lay down when this crisis has abated, I promise you. And as my first act with this new authority, I will create a grand army of the Republic to counter the increasing threats of the separatists, maybe!"

This caused the Senators to cheer. Meanwhile, Pom-Pom and Strong Mad had a discussion.

"WE'RE GOING TO WARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!" shouted Strong Mad as he raised a fist.

"_Go to Kamino, I will, to see this clone army,"_ Pom-Pom bubbled.

"JEDI'S GOING TO WARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!" shouted Strong Mad as he raised his other fist.

"_Stop you can now,"_ Pom-Pom bubbled.

"WE'RE STILL GOING TO WARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!" shouted Strong Mad as he jumped up and down until he fell on his face.

* * *

In Geonosis, the Nubian ship flew towards some rock formations and steam coming out of the ground.

"See those columns of steams right up ahead?" asked Marzipan.

"Evewy one can, and it looks ugly hewe," remarked Homestar.

"Yeah, well, I think they're exhaust vents of some type," said Marzipan.

"Okay! Let's go in thewe!" decided Homestar, who was flying the Nubian ship.

The Nubian ship went in the hole where the steam came from and landed on a metal platform. Marzipan and Homestar got ready to leave.

"Look, whatever happens there, follow my lead, since you might destroy some stuff and get us caught. I don't want to get into a war here. I'm trying to find a diplomatic solution, since I'm a Senator," explained Marzipan.

"Uh, I don't know what that means, but let's just go," said Homestar as they left the ship.

Meanwhile, Homsar and Strong Sad had a little conversation.

"We will save the dirt!" shouted Homsar.

"Uh, Homsar, I don't think they want us to come with them at all. Especially if it's too dangerous for us, or at least me," explained Strong Sad.

Meanwhile, Homestar and Marzipan had a metal door open for them. Then they went in the corridor.

"Ice and cherries can't think about juveniles," shouted Homsar.

"Well, I don't think you can do all the thinking. And besides, I understand humans, and they didn't want us to go, or maybe just me," explained Strong Sad.

"Ice cream eats timing raspberries!" shouted Homsar.

"You doubt me? I am a master in poetry! Don't doubt me!" retorted Strong Sad.

"Jeopardy is in trivial panties!" cried out Homsar.

"What? I don't know, but I meant I'm in charge here!" replied Strong Sad.

"Bye-d-bye!" cried out Homsar as he left.

"Wait? Where are you going? Don't you have any sense? Ugh, maybe I should… oh idiot!" shouted Strong Sad as he followed Homsar, who followed Homestar and Marzipan.

Homestar and Marzipan were walking down the corridor, trying their best to look for Strong Bad.

"Stwong Bad? Stwong Bad? Stwong Bad?" shouted Homestar.

"Homestar, Strong Bad's captured by Zee-Gee-Oh," said Marzipan.

"Oh, wight, Zee-Gee-Oh? Zee-Gee-Oh? Zee-Gee-Oh?" shouted Homestar.

"And don't give us away!" shouted Marzipan.

Suddenly, the walls looked like they began to move. The two heard quacking from the walls.

"Wait…" said Homestar as they stopped walking.

Suddenly, the Fhqwhgads attacked. Homestar ignited his lightsaber and started attacking the Fhqwhgads.

"Someone get these fweakin' ducks away fwom me!" exclaimed Homestar, "Oh wait, I'm supposed to do that."

Strong Sad and Homsar were surprised to see the Fhqwhgads, but the Fhqwhgads didn't harm the two.

"Whoa! I'm spared. This must be a preparation for my ultimate doom," said Strong Sad.

Homestar and Marzipan ran to the end of the corridor and to a short walkway in the droid factory. The walkway was over a large crevice. As a door behind them closed, the walkway retracted into the wall. Homestar hung onto the door, but Marzipan fell off and landed on a droid factory conveyor belt.

"Mawzipan!" shouted Homestar as he jumped onto the conveyor belt and killed two more Fhqwhgads with his lightsaber.

Marzipan saw machines stamping down on raw material of droids on the conveyor belt. Trusting the pattern of the machines' movement, Marzipan ran under the machines without getting crushed. Homestar followed, attacking Fhqwhgads and machinery with his lightsaber.

Meanwhile, Strong Sad and Homsar reached the droid factory.

"Oh my. Machines are making machines. That's… ugly," said Strong Sad as Homsar nearly pushed him off, "Homsar! Don't push me off!" Then Homsar pushed him off.

Then Homsar used his new jet shoes to fly around the factory. As for Strong Sad, he was hanging onto a Chorch's (the flying enemies with claws from the game Stinkoman 20X6) claw.

"This is a nightmare much worse than the other ones! For this is real!" exclaimed Strong Sad before theChorch picked up Strong Sad and placed him on a conveyor belt, "I want to go home, even though my owners don't like me!"

Homestar was attacking Fhqwhgads using his lightsaber and using the Force to pull objects into Fhqwhgads, like droid parts and machines, doing little damage to the factory, unfortunately. Some Fhqwhgads used bazookas against Homestar. As for Marzipan, she got pushed by a Fhqwhgads into a large empty vat moving down an assembly line where molten metal is poured into the vats. Homsar flew towards Marzipan.

As for Strong Sad, he was walking down the conveyor belt.

"I wonder where Homsar is. Probably getting into trouble," said Strong Sad when a machine lobbed Strong Sad's head off (SPECIAL EFFECTS USED! NO BLOODSHED! IMAGINE STRONG SAD'S HEADLESS BODY THE ONE FROM THE EMAIL VIRUS. BOTH BODY PARTS ARE STILL ACTIVE.). The head landed in a line of battle droid heads, which was put on a battle droid.

"This is so frustrating!" exclaimed Strong Sad, "And confusing, and painful!"

Strong Sad's body stumbled into a line of battle droid bodies, so a battle droid head was placed on Strong Sad's body.

"Oh crap, this body's pathetic," said the battle droid with Strong Sad's body.

Homestar jumped onto another conveyor belt and continued fighting Fhqwhgads. Suddenly, a piece of machinery pushed him down onto the belt and a molding device locked Homestar's lightsaber and where Homestar's arm should be, but Homestar was stuck for obliviousness.

Marzipan tried to climb out of the empty vat, but she couldn't. The vat two vats from her was filled with molten metal. Homsar landed on a platform with a computer port. Shouting at the computer port (AaAaAaAaAaAaA), he made the machinery pouring molten metal not pour molten metal into Marzipan's vat, saving her life. Then he made the vat pour Marzipan out onto a circular platform.

After dodging several stamping machinery and slicing machinery, Homestar realized he wasn't trapped at all, so he got out, but saw his lightsaber was sliced in half, as he tried to ignite his lightsaber.

"Oh cwap! Stwong Bad's going to kill me fow this, again!" exclaimed Homestar.

Marzipan was surrounded by several of the Fhqwhgads, armed with bazookas. For Homestar, five droidekas and Stinkoman (armored) arrived and pointed their weapons at Homestar.

"DON'T MOVE an INCH, Jedi! Take him away!" ordered Stinkoman as the droidekas moved towards the vulnerable Homestar.


	8. Chapter 8 A Short Chapter about Executi...

I wish I knew about Tampo, Brody, and Stlunko (the three bosses of Stinkoman 20X6) soI could use them as the execution animals. Oh well. Anyway, this chapter is shorter than the rest.**

* * *

**

**Chapter 8 – A Short Chapter about Execution**

Homestar and Marzipan were in a cart in a tunnel in the Geonosian Colosseum.

"Uh, I think we'we going to live. Othewwise, thewe isn't going to be an Episode Thwee, Fouw, Five, or Six," said Homestar.

"Well, I'm not afraid to die. But I'm still afraid for my plants," said Marzipan, and she was right, for her plants already wilted from no water.

"Oh come on. Fowget about the stupid plants," said Homestar.

"You're right. I can always get new ones, and it's small potatoes compared to this situation. But before we go out there and try not to let ourselves killed…" began Marzipan.

"Oh, we won't! Fow thewe won't be Episode Thwee, again," said Homestar.

"Yeah, but I want to tell you something. I'll be your girlfriend," said Marzipan.

"Okay then, wanna mawwy me?" asked Homestar.

"Um, alright," replied Marzipan without thinking, for the cart was already moving into the arena.

The Colosseum was huge. A whole bunch of Fhqwhgads were quacking as they sat on the benches and watched the arena. There were three pillars in the middle. Strong Bad was chained to one by his boxing gloves. Chains for Homestar and Marzipan were hanging from the others. In the archducal box, Zee-Gee-Oh, Blue Laser, a surviving minion from Episode I, Fhqwhgads the Lesser, Stinkoman, and 1-Up were watching what's happening.

As Homestar and Marzipan were chained twice (their waists were chained), Marzipan got out a wire and placed it in her mouth and began trying to free herself.

"Well, Homestar, I was wondering if you got my dramatic message," said Strong Bad.

"We sent it to Cowuscant just like you said. Then we decided to wescue you," replied Homestar.

"Great job stupid! I can smell freedom right now!" Strong Bad said sarcastically.

"Thanks, but I don't smell anything," replied Homestar.

In the archducal box…

"Quack, quack, quack!" shouted Fhqwhgads the Lesser, which meant, "_Let the executions begin!_"

So the air was filled with quacking.

"Stupid ducks," muttered Strong Bad as Marzipan continued to work on her manacle.

Then three gates opened around the arena. An electric guitar solo played as Trogdor walked out of one gate and burninated the guitarist (a Fhqwhgads). Next, Kerrek came out, and all Fhqwhgads around Kerrek fainted from the smell coming from Kerrek, especially from its belt. A Fhqwhgads was poking at it with a stick courageously, and the Kerrek whacked the poor Fhqwhgads with its club. From the last gate came out the S is for Sucks Dragon.

"I don't like those weiwdos," said Homestar.

The three monsters began walking towards their targets.

"Okay Homestar, take Trogdor. I'll take the one who sucks," said Strong Bad.

"What about Mawzipan?" asked Homestar.

"She can die. No, I'm just kidding. Wait, let me see," replied Strong Bad as he looked at Marzipan, who freed herself from one manacle and began climbing her pillar, "She seems to be on top of things, literally."

Trogdor ran towards Homestar with a fiery mouth, but he jumped and Trogdor ran into the pillar; ouch! That's got to hurt! So Trogdor didn't burninate anybody, maybe except the pillar. Then Homestar landed on Trogdor and wrapped his chains around Trogdor's mouth to prevent it from burninating anything else. As Trogdor tried to shake the chain off (the muscular arm was too muscular to move, let alone remove the chains off its mouth), it tore the chain off the burninated pillar.

As for Strong Bad, the S is for Sucks punched Strong Bad's pillar, freeing the chain and Strong Bad. Then Strong Bad ran after a Fhqwhgads with a stick while the S is for Sucks dragon ran after him.

As Marzipan reached the top of her pillar, the Kerrek tried to punch Marzipan off. This seemed to please Blue Laser.

Strong Bad dove at the Fhqwhgads, pinning it to the ground. Then he ran off while the S is for Sucks stepped on the Fhqwhgads. Then Strong Bad picked up the stick the Fhqwhgads dropped with his boxing gloves with difficulty. Homestar was continuing riding Trogdor with difficulty and discomfort, for it's not pleasant to sit on scaly skin.

The Kerrek kept punching Marzipan's pillar to try and knock Marzipan off. Using the chain, Marzipan whipped Kerrek in the face. Then she jumped off the pillar and kicked Kerrek with her "feet" and went back up on the top of the pillar.

"WHAT? SHE CAN'T DO THAT!" Blue Laser screeched angrily.

Strong Bad threw the stick at the S is for Sucks' skin. Since the dragon sucked, it pierced the skin. Using a beefy arm, the dragon just pulled the stick out and threw it away. Marzipan managed to free herself from her other manacle using the same wire she used earlier. Meanwhile, Homestar made Trogdor run to the Kerrek. And Trogdor smote the Kerrek, and all was laid to burnination… if only Trogdor could open its mouth, but that was enough to kill Kerrek.

"Hey Mawzipan, hop on onto the T.S.S. Homestaw!" said Homestar as Marzipan jumped onto Trogdor.

"What does that mean?" asked Marzipan.

"Uh… Trogdow… Stupid… Boat… Homestaw," replied Homestar.

"That's T.S.B.," replied Marzipan.

"Oh who cawes?" asked Homestar.

Then the Trogdor ran to Strong Bad and the S is for Sucks dragon. Strong Bad leaped onto Trogdor to escape the S is for Sucks dragon.

"THIS IS MAKING ME MAD!" screeched Blue Laser, "STINKOMAN, KILL HER!"

"Now, now, my impatient and screeching friend, she will die," said Zee-Gee-Oh.

Suddenly, droidekas arrived and surrounded Trogdor, Homestar, Marzipan, and Strong Bad with their guns raised.

"This is just crap. We just escaped from our pillars over there and outsmarted the idiotic beasts, only to be shot by these droids with shields," muttered Strong Bad.

"I think this is just… uh… cwap?" replied Homestar.


	9. Chapter 9 The Battle of Geonosis

Well, here is one of the most famous parts of Star Wars II. This is the scene that made the movie so good! I hope you enjoy my parody of it. I know it'll rock.**

* * *

**

**Chapter 9 – The Battle of Geonosis**

So, as we left off, Homestar, Marizpan, and Strong Bad just avoided execution from Trogdor, S is for Sucks Dragon, and Kerrek, only to be ready to be executed by droidekas, droids with shields. In a corridor of the colisseum, Strong Mad made his way to the archducal box. As he arrived in the archducal box, he punched Zee-Gee-Oh and ignited his purple-bladed lightsaber and held it in front of Stinkoman's neck. Smart move, I have to say. Smarter than what Mace Windu himself did.

"Master Strong Mad," Zee-Gee-Oh said, nursing the bruise Strong Mad gave him as he stood up, "How pleasant of you to join us."

"THIS PARTY'S OVER!" shouted Strong Mad.

Suddenly, all over the Colosseum, Jedi Knights (some from the Jedi Council, and that includes Wheelchair, who can use a lightsaber) ignited their blue and green lightsabers. There were like a hundred of Jedi Knights around the arena.

"Brave, but foolish, my, er… Jedi friend. You're still outnumbered," remarked Zee-Gee-Oh.

"WE'LL WIN!" shouted Strong Mad.

Suddenly, super battle droids walked towards the archducal box and shot at Strong Mad using the guns which were their right hands. Strong Mad used his lightsaber excellently to deflect the shots. He _is_ the second best Jedi Master, since he sits next to Pom-Pom. Stinkoman used his armor flamethrower to shoot fire at Strong Mad, who jumped off the archducal box and into the arena, where the Jedis were using their lightsabers to deflect shots from the army of battle droids and super battle droids that just arrived. They were also destroying the droids. While most Fhqwhgads ran away, some used their bazookas to attack the Jedi.

Two Jedis threw their spare lightsabers at Homestar and Strong Bad. Homestar used his blue-bladed lightsaber to free the three from their manacles as Strong Bad lit his green-bladed lightsaber. Then the three jumped off Trogdor while Marzipan picked up a blaster dropped by a destroyed droid and began helping out in the battle against the droids.

The Jedis and Marzipan were slicing/blasting battle droids, super battle droids, and some Fhqwhgads using bazookas. Strong Mad and Strong Bad were deflecting laser blasts and destroying droids with their lightsabers like a team, or tag-team, seroiusly. Strong Mad punched some battle droids to destroy them (the super battle droids were too armored to be punched and destroyed, unfortunately). But, there were Jedis who were killed by droids and Fhqwhgads. One Jedi attempted to attack Zee-Gee-Oh in the archducal box, but Stinkoman used his blaster to kill the Jedi.

Meanwhile, more droids entered the battle. One of the groups of droids entering the battle was the droid with Strong Sad's head.

"What's going on? A battle? This is just a perfect way for me to die," said Strong Sad's head with depression while some battle droids looked at the weird droid.

Another group of droids had the droid with Strong Sad's body.

"Crap, this body sucks. I demand a better body!" complained the droid head.

Marzipan and Homestar were riding on a cart, destroying droids. However, a blast made the cart topple, but the two continued fighting droids.

"Nice diplomatic solution!" said Homestar, remembering their conversation before they went into the droid factory.

"Thanks, but this is more like an aggressive negotiation," replied Marzipan.

"What's that?" asked Homestar.

In the battle…

"Die Jedi! Die!" shouted Strong Sad's head, "Wait, what am I saying? Oh well, at least I won't be the only one dead today."

The droid with Strong Sad's body had its droid head chopped off by a Jedi. Stinkoman decided to join the battle and began attacking Strong Mad. However, Trogdor came and trampled Stinkoman. His armor saved him. So, Stinkoman shot lasers at Trogdor.

"All right! All right!" shouted Trogdor, "I'll fly away and never bother you again, since I'm invincible. I'll go back to Peasantry," said Trogdor as he flew away from Geonosis and had a happy life burninating and squishing the best peasants and knights he ever could burninate and squish.

Then Strong Mad and Stinkoman fought each other. Strong Mad slashed with his lightsaber fiercely and eventually chopped off a part of Stinkoman's armor.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAA! How dare you destroy my armor! Single deuce!" screamed Stinkoman.

Then Stinkoman shot himself at Strong Mad with a large, rocky fist that he somehow got immediately. He was prepared to punch Strong Mad in the face when another rocky fist identical to the one Stinkoman was using crushed Stinkoman to death, minus his rocky fist. Then Strong Mad looked above to see a ship with Tampo (still a brain), Brody, Stlunko (who got his fists back), and the newest addition, Saargtsson.

"Hooray! We've defeated Stinkoman!" shouted Tampo.

"We made him pay for everything!" shouted Brody.

"And I got my fists back," added Stlunko.

"Sss, and I made him pay for using me as an object to break your fist," hissed Saargtsson.

"Then how did I get both of my fists back intact?" asked Stlunko when suddenly, the fist Stlunko got back cracked in half, "D'oh!"

"So, what should we do now?" asked Tampo.

"I don't know. Since we've won, there's nothing for us to do in life but..." began Stlunko when the combined power of lasers from droids, super battle droids, and bazookas from the Fhqwhgads destroyed the ship, killing the three bosses.

* * *

In thecolisseum, the battle raged on, but there was sadness in the archducal box.

"Oh man! Stinkoman's dead!" exclaimed 1-Up from the archducal box.

Strong Bad encountered the S is for Sucks Dragon again. Using his lightsaber, he chopped off both of the dragon's legs and then stabbed the dragon, killing the stupid dragon.

"I'm so sorry about this, but you all have to die someday!" shouted Strong Sad's head as he inevitably shot at Jedis.

Finally, one Jedi put Strong Sad out of his misery by using the Force on him to make the droid body short out and fall. To add to his new misery of not being able to move, a fallen super battle droid fell on Strong Sad's droid body.

"Um, can you get up? Oh, you're dead. I guess I'll wait here, forever. At least I won't die fat," said Strong Sad.

_(Rim shot that sounds distorted with no spirit)_

However, Homsar came and used some string to wrench Strong Sad's head off the droid.

"Ouch! You're doing it too hard! This is a really bad drag, you know?" asked Strong Sad's head as his head was dragged by Homsar, not being harmed by any laser.

Then Homsar came to Strong Sad's body and somehow put Strong Sad's head back on.

Finally, twenty or so remaining Jedi and Marzipan were surrounded by droids while fighting. The arena was filled with dead Jedi, destroyed droids, and dead Fhqwhgads. The survivors included Homestar, Strong Bad, Marzipan, Wheelchair, Pan-Pan, Strong Mad, and some other Jedi.

Finally, Zee-Gee-Oh raised his hand to make the droids lower their weapons and stop the fighting.

"Master Strong Mad!" shouted Zee-Gee-Oh, "You have fought gallantly. Worthy of recognition in the history archives of the Jedi Order! Now it is finished. Surrender, and your lives will be spared."

With his hands on his hips, he shouted like a wannabe superhero, "NEVAAAAAARRRRR!"

"Then, I'm sorry, er, friend, you're going to die," said Zee-Gee-Oh as the droids raised their weapons.

The Jedi and Marzipan got their weapons ready. Suddenly, Marzipan looked up at the sky and said, "Look!"

"Oh nice try, like I'm going to fall for 'the look up there trick while you destroy all the droids'... trick," said Zee-Gee-Oh before seeing everybody else (including the droids) were looking up, "Oh well, I'll look up."

Above, six Clone ships arrived. The ships shot lasers at the droids firing at them. From the ships, clone troopers of Kamino were shooting at the droids. One ship contained Pom-Pom.

"_Around the survivors, a perimeter create,_" Pom-Pom bubbled.

"Yes Master Pom-Pom, the droids created a perimeter around the survivors," replied the leading clone trooper of the ships.

"_Around the survivors, a perimeter create,_" Pom-Pom bubbled a bit more angrily.

"Yes, and they did," replied the clone trooper.

"_Just make a stupid circle around the survivors!"_ Pom-Pom bubbled angrily, losing it.

"Oh! Why didn't you say so?" asked the clone trooper.

Then the ships surrounded the Jedi and Marzipan as they got onto the ships. Then the Clone ships flew away as the droids went away as well, and started the opening battle to the Clone Wars.

Meanwhile, Strong Sad woke up with Homsar sitting next to him.

"Wow, I had a very weird nightmare worse than my other nightmares, for it was real, was it?" asked Strong Sad.

Meanwhile, 1-Up picked up Stinkoman's helmet in sadness that The Guy died.

* * *

In the terrain outside the Colosseum, the Clone ships were flying towards the Trade Federation ships. One Clone ship close to the one Strong Bad, Homestar, Marzipan, Pom-Pom, Wheelchair, and Strong Mad and two other Jedi were on was blasted by the enemy force. They were flying towards an important enemy ship/tower.

"Shoot at the small pawt!" ordered Homestar.

The Clone ship shot missiles at the small part of the ship/tower, making it fall on some droids and their accessories.

"Whoa, another point for you," commented Strong Bad.

"FLY TO WAR!" shouted Strong Mad.

"Okay, that's what we're doing!" replied the clone pilot.

Then Pom-Pom talked to the Jedi.

"_Capture Zee-Gee-Oh, we must. If escapes he does, rally more systems to his cause he will,"_ Pom-Pom bubbled.

And the Clone ship landed in a battle area. Strong Mad, Wheelchair, and the two other Jedi exited the ship and began to battle the droids. The Clone ship flew away. Pom-Pom went into another Clone ship and went to the Clone Forward Command Center.

* * *

In the Geonosian Command Center, Blue Laser, his minion, Zee-Gee-Oh, and Fhqwhgads the Lesser met.

"_All communications are jammed. We're under attack,"_ said Fhqwhgads the Lesser.

"HOW THE CRAP DID THE JEDI MAKE A HUGE ARMY?" asked Blue Laser.

"Where the crap did the Jedis get the army? That's not fair," said Zee-Gee-Oh.

"SEND THE DROIDS TO KILL THE ARMY!" shouted Blue Laser.

"That's not possible. There are too many clones for the droids to handle," said Zee-Gee-Oh.

TO BE CONTINUED...


	10. Chapter 10 The End of the Clone Wars?

This is the second to last chapter. This is where Anakin gets his armchopped off, but here, since Homestar doesn't have any arms, hilarity will ensue. So, enjoy. And no, this is not the chapter with Yoda (Pom Pom) fighting Count Dooku (Zee-Gee-Oh).**

* * *

**

**Chapter 10 – The End of the Clone Wars?**

The Clones and droids were fighting with blasters and large accessories that had dangerous weapons. In the Command Center, Pom-Pom arrived.

"Master Pom-Pom, all forward positions are advancing," said a Clone Commander.

"_Good, very good,"_ Pom-Pom bubbled.

The Clones' laser began to fire on the Trade Federation circular starships.

"_Concentrate all your fire on the nearest starship,"_ ordered Pom-Pom.

"Yes, sir," replied the Clone Commander.

Then the laser fired at the nearest Trade Federation starship, and eventually made it fall down on the ground, blow up, and make the arena all dusty while the droids and clones kept fighting with blasters.

* * *

In the Geonosian Command Center, the people in there talked again.

"THIS BATTLE SUCKS!" screeched Blue Laser.

"_Order a retreat. I am sending all my warriors deep into the catacombs to hide,_" ordered Fhqwhgads the Lesser.

"Let's go back to our ships while retreating, sir," said the minion.

"THAT WAS WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY! LET'S GO BACK TO OUR SHIPS AND RETREAT!" screeched Blue Laser.

"I'm going to Coruscant to meet with my master," said Zee-Gee-Oh.

Then Fhqwhgads the Lesser gave Zee-Gee-Oh the schematics for the Death Star of Episode 4. The schematics were downloaded into a circular cartridge.

"_The Jedi must not find our designs for the ultimate weapon. If they have any idea what we're planning to create, we're doomed, not that we're doomed anyway,"_ said Fhqwhgads the Lesser.

"I'll take the designs with me. They'll be much safer with my master," replied Zee-Gee-Oh as he took the cartridge with the downloaded schematics.

* * *

So Blue Laser and his minion went into a ship and flew away like cowards from the war-raging Geonosis. Zee-Gee-Oh rode a speeder and sped through the Geonosian desert.

Homestar, Marzipan, and Strong Bad were still in their Clone ship, flying above a battle between the clones and the droids. Then Strong Bad saw Zee-Gee-Oh.

"Hey idiots, look over there!" said Strong Bad as he pointed his boxing glove at Zee-Gee-Oh on his speeder.

"It's Zee-Gee-Oh! Let's shoot him down and kill him!" said Homestar.

"We're out of ammo for all of our weapons, sir," replied the Clone pilot.

"What? Oh, perfect, you _just_ run out of ammo when we need it the most, when we need to blast Zee-Gee-Oh into smithereens! What kind of army are you?" complained Strong Bad.

"An un-resourceful one," replied a Clone trooper.

"Well, we're doing the best we can!" retorted the pilot.

"No you're not," said Strong Bad.

"Are too."

"No you're not."

"Are too."

"No you're not."

"Are too."

"No you're not."

"Are too."

"Uh, just follow that fweakin' speedew," ordered Homestar.

"We need some help," said Marzipan.

"There's no time, for then he would fly away from this stupid planet! I thought you were the brains of us, besides me! I'm smart," replied Strong Bad, "Homestar and I will take care of him."

Then Zee-Gee-Oh pressed some buttons on his speeder to make the two probe droids flying behind him fly to the Clone ship following Zee-Gee-Oh. Then the two probe droids began shooting purple lasers at the ship. One of the lasers struck the ship, making it shake violently and make Marzipan and a Clone trooper tumble out.

"Mawzipan!" shouted Homestar as he saw Marzipan hit the sand below, "Put the stupid ship down!"

"No, stupid! Don't get your personal feelings or your lack of intelligence get in the way!" shouted Strong Bad before saying to the pilot "Follow that speeder."

So the Clone ship continued chasing Zee-Gee-Oh's speeder with the two droids shooting at the ship.

"Lowew the ship!" ordered Homestar.

"Homestar, even though I don't say this often, I need you! I can't take on Zee-Gee-Oh alone! If we catch him, we can end this stupid war! We have a job to do!" shouted Strong Bad.

"So what? Then thewe's no mowe stowy fow Episode Thwee. Put the ship down!" ordered Homestar.

"You'll be expelled from the Jedi Order!" shouted Strong Bad.

"Whoa! You can? I don't cawe!" replied Homestar.

"Come to your senses, if you have any! If Marzipan was you, and thankfully she's not, what would she do?" asked Strong Bad.

"Uh, go and save me in the sand if I was Mawzipan?" asked Homestar.

"Close enough, but, let's just do our duty," replied Strong Bad.

* * *

In the Command Center, Pom-Pom sensed what happened back at the Clone ship with Marzipan, Strong Bad, and Homestar.

"The droid army is in full retreat," reported the Clone Commander.

"_Well done Commander. Bring me a ship_," ordered Pom-Pom.

* * *

Zee-Gee-Oh reached his destination, a hangar in a rock tower. As Zee-Gee-Oh ran inside, Homestar and Strong Bad arrived, jumped off the Clone ship just before it was finally destroyed by the two droids, and ran inside with their lightsabers ignited while Zee-Gee-Oh approached his Interstellar Sail Ship.

"You'we going to pay fow all the dwoids…" began Homestar.

"Jedi," corrected Strong Bad.

"Wight, wight, let me stawt ovew. You'we going to pay fow all the dwoids you killed today, cweepy man," said Homestar.

"That last part is good enough," Strong Bad said to Homestar, "Now let's take him on together."

"No, I'm too cool fow that," replied Homestar as he ran to Zee-Gee-Oh with his lightsaber raised.

"NO!" shouted Strong Bad.

Suddenly, Zee-Gee-Oh shot Force lightning from his hand at Homestar, electrifying him and later hurled him into a wall.

"Wow, that was fun," said Homestar dizzily, "Let's do that again! Pie man centwal."

Then Zee-Gee-Oh moved towards Strong Bad.

"As you can see, my Jedi powers are far more beyond yours," said Zee-Gee-Oh before shooting Force lightning at Strong Bad.

Using his lightsaber, Strong Bad deflected the lightning.

"I don't think so, loser," replied Strong Bad.

Then Zee-Gee-Oh ignited his red lightsaber. Then they began fighting each other, deflecting each other's lightsabers. Strong Bad was trying as hard as he could, but Zee-Gee-Oh didn't need any effort at all. After all, he was a Jedi Master, unfortunately.

"Master Strong Bad, you disappoint me. Pom-Pom holds you in such high esteem," taunted Zee-Gee-Oh.

Then Strong Bad tried to strike Zee-Gee-Oh, but Zee-Gee-Oh deflected more shots from Strong Bad.

"Surely, you can do better than that!" taunted Zee-Gee-Oh.

Then they began to fight each other again. Zee-Gee-Oh was still better than Strong Bad, for he blocked all of Strong Bad's blows and nearly chopped Strong Bad's head off if he didn't duck. Suddenly, Zee-Gee-Oh struck Strong Bad in the shoulder and thigh with his lightsaber to make him fall and let go of his lightsaber.

Then Zee-Gee-Oh went to Strong Bad to do the death blow.

"Well, this fight was worse than the one in Episode 1," remarked Strong Bad, "Come on Dark Side, help me out a little bit."

Suddenly, Homestar, with his lightsaber ignited, jumped to the scene and blocked Zee-Gee-Oh's lightsaber.

"Foolish of you, I thought you learned your lesson," said Zee-Gee-Oh as Strong Bad used the Force to pull his lightsaber towards him.

"I don't think I leawned a lot," replied Homestar.

"Hey Homestar! Take this!" shouted Strong Bad as he threw his lightsaber at Homestar using the Force, who caught it.

* * *

In the desert, Marzipan got up while a Clone trooper came to her.

"Are you all right?" asked the trooper.

"Yes," replied Marzipan.

"Let's take you to the Forward Command Center," said the trooper.

"No. Gather the rest of your troops. We have to go to that speeder and catch Zee-Gee-Oh! Hurry!" ordered Marzipan.

"All right, no use arguing against you," replied the trooper, walking away.

* * *

Back in the hangar, Homestar was fighting Zee-Gee-Oh with two lightsabers.

"Come on, boy. You're too good to fight me with two lightsabers," said Zee-Gee-Oh.

"You'we wight! I'll only fight with one!" replied Homestar as he threw Strong Bad's lightsaber away into the sand outside the hangar.

"You _(grumble, grumble)_ idiot," muttered Strong Bad.

Then Homestar fought with his blue-bladed lightsaber against Zee-Gee-Oh. He sliced a power wire to make almost all lights go out in the hangar.

"What the crap did you do that for?" asked Zee-Gee-Oh.

"I don't know. Change of pace," replied Homestar.

Then Zee-Gee-Oh and Homestar continued fighting while twirling their lightsabers to be intimidating and to see in the dark.

"You're pretty good with a lightsaber," remarked Zee-Gee-Oh.

"Thanks!" replied Homestar.

Suddenly, Zee-Gee-Oh made a downward slash. Homestar moved to the left, but suddenly, he crouched in pain.

"Ouch! My awm! You cut off my fweakin' awm!" exclaimed Homestar.

"What arm? You don't have a frakin' arm!" replied Zee-Gee-Oh.

"Oh? It's a miwacle!" exclaimed Hoemstar.

Suddenly, Zee-Gee-Oh used the Force to throw Homestar onto Strong Bad.

"Okay stupid, get your 100 pound body off of me, get your lightsaber, and continue battling Zee-Gee-Oh," ordered Strong Bad with difficulty to speak with Homestar on him.

"No way, I'm too tiwed," replied Homestar.

"I wish I wasn't required to listen to Coach Z when he died," muttered Strong Bad.


	11. Chapter 11 This is Just the Beginning

Well, here it is, the last chapter of this story. Thank you all to the reviewers, especially Time Traveling Echidna, who reviewed every chapter of this story. Kudos for you. Anyway, this is the chapter with the famous (or maybe not) fight between Yoda and Count Dooku, only for here, it's Pom Pom and Zee-Gee-Oh. And if you played level 5 in Stinkoman 20X6 in the Homestar Runner website, you'll see that my reasons for making Zee-Gee-Oh (20X6 Coach Z) a villain are supported.

One more thing. Episode III is coming soon to fan fiction . net and in theaters everywhere.And now, the last chapter:

**

* * *

**

**Chapter 11 – This is Just the Beginning**

Zee-Gee-Oh was deciding whether to leave right now or kill both Homestar and Strong Bad before leaving. Suddenly, he heard bouncing, so Zee-Gee-Oh couldn't go, yet. Then Pom-Pom arrived.

"Master Pom-Pom," said Zee-Gee-Oh.

"_Zee-Gee-Oh,"_ Pom-Pom bubbled.

"You have messed with our plans for the last time," said Zee-Gee-Oh.

Zee-Gee-Oh used the Force to make a piece of rock from the rock wall fly into Pom-Pom. The rock simply bounced off of Pom-Pom's body with no harmful effect. Then Zee-Gee-Oh used the Force to make machinery attached to the rock wall fly into Pom-Pom. Again, it bounced off his rubbery body. So, Zee-Gee-Oh made rocks fall from the rocky ceiling. This time, Pom-Pom used the Force to throw them away.

"_Powerful you have become, maybe, Zee-Gee-Oh. The dark side I sense in you,_" Pom-Pom bubbled.

"I have become more powerful than any Jedi," said Zee-Gee-Oh as he shot Force lightning at Pom-Pom, "Even you."

Pom-Pom reflected the shot by using the Force and his right flipper-hand back at Zee-Gee-Oh. Zee-Gee-Oh deflected the shot at the ceiling. Then Zee-Gee-Oh shot lightning at Pom-Pom again, who absorbed the shot with his rubbery body.

"_Much to learn, you still have, and suck, you do,"_ Pom-Pom bubbled.

"It is obvious this contest will not be decided by our knowledge of the Force, but by our skills with a lightsaber," said Zee-Gee-Oh as he ignited his lightsaber.

From his rubbery body where he kept his Pom Pilot, cell phone, and wallet, Pom-Pom used the Force to retrieve his lightsaber from his body. Then he ignited his green-bladed lightsaber.

Then the two jumped toward each other and began their fight: Master of the Jedi vs. Former Jedi Master. Zee-Gee-Oh had to use his greatest tactics to deflect a single shot from Pom-Pom, let alone the fury Pom-Pom was releasing, using the lightsaber with great agility. Pom-Pom's lightsaber was like a blur of green light. So, Zee-Gee-Oh had to back flip out of the way and charge at Pom-Pom, but Pom-Pom used his flipper-arms to beat the ever-loving crap out of Zee-Gee-Oh, sending Zee-Gee-Oh into a wall.

Then they used their lightsabers again. Pom-Pom spun around while using his lightsaber, and Zee-Gee-Oh had to hang onto his lightsaber for dear life in order to use it to deflect the furious shots from Pom-Pom. Then Pom-Pom's and Zee-Gee-Oh's lightsabers crossed as they both were fatigued and had to stop. It was a miracle that Zee-Gee-Oh survived, which is not a good thing to the good guys and the Republic.

"_Fought well you have, my Planet K Padawan,"_ Pom-Pom bubbled.

"This is just the beginning," replied Zee-Gee-Oh.

Using the Force, Zee-Gee-Oh made a huge metallic pillar fall towards Homestar and Strong Bad. Using the Force, Pom-Pom lifted the pillar and set it next to Homestar and Strong Bad. At the same time, Zee-Gee-Oh fled to his ship. Then the ship flew away from the exhausted Jedi.

"Why didn't you just throw that stupid pillar at that ship?" asked Strong Bad.

"_Hey, all Jedis have limits, like you,"_ Pom-Pom bubbled without talking like Yoda.

Outside the hangar, Marzipan and the Clones saw the ship. 

"Fire at the ship!" ordered Marzipan as they used their blasters on the ship. All of them missed, "What kind of soldiers are you? Can you actually save the Republic?" asked Marzipan angrily.

"Hey, all blaster-users have limits, like you," said one Clone trooper.

Soon, the Interstellar Sail Ship flew away from the war-exhausted planet of Geonosis, past the asteroid field and Trade Federation ships in space, and towards somewhere.

Meanwhile in Geonosis, Marzipan was still arguing with the Clone troopers.

"Who taught you to shoot? How do you expect to win any war?" continued Marzipan.

"Sorry, broom," replied a clone trooper, who Marzipan slapped, making him fall into the sand.

So after some reasoning, Marzipan and the rest of the Clones went inside the hangar towards the Jedi.

"Homestar!" said Marzipan as Homestar finally stood up and helped Strong Bad up. Then Strong Bad punched Homestar in the face with his boxing glove attached to the arm not hurt by Zee-Gee-Oh.

* * *

The Interstellar Sail Ship with Zee-Gee-Oh finally reached his destination, Coruscant. It flew past the buildings of downtown and all the places people prefer to go. Then it went to the old town, a deserted and burned-out part of Coruscant. The ship was maneuvered into a building. Suddenly, a part of the wall opened up for the ship to come in. Finally, the ship landed as Zee-Gee-Oh exited and the hooded figure named Darth Sidious from Episode 1 arrived.

"The Force is with us, Master Sidious," said Zee-Gee-Oh.

"Welcome home, Lord Zee. You have done well," said Darth Sidious.

"I bring you good news, my Lord. The war has begun," said Zee-Gee-Oh.

"Excellent. Everything is going as planned," replied Darth Sidious as they walked away.

* * *

In the Jedi Temple, Strong Bad (his injuries healed), Strong Mad, and Pom-Pom were having a discussion in the nearly-deserted Council Chamber. Normally, more Jedi Council members would be there, but most were killed or injured, or decided not to come.

"Do you believe what Zee-Gee-Oh said about Sidious controlling the Senate? That's not right. We're supposed to be winning," said Strong Bad.

"_Becoming unreliable, Zee-Gee-Oh has. Joined the dark side. Lies, deceit, creating mistrust are his ways now,"_ Pom-Pom bubbled.

"I DON'T LIKE THE SENATE!" shouted Strong Mad.

"_I agree_," replied Pom-Pom.

"I DON'T LIKE SMARTIES!" shouted Strong Mad, "WHERE'S HOMESTAR?"

"He's in Naboo, escorting Miss Baseball Bat Head/Hippie/Warrior Hippie/Broom. Well, I have to admit, without the Clones, we wouldn't have had victory," said Strong Bad.

_"Victory? Victory you say?" _asked Pom-Pom, beginning the last quote of the movie/story, _"Master Strong Bad, not victory. The shroud of the dark side has fallen. Begun, the Clone War has."_

* * *

In the Military Staging Area of Coruscant, thousands of Clone troopers were getting into their ships to begin the Clone War. Chancellor Homeschool, Lem Sportsinterviews, the Prince of Town, and several other senators were watching from a balcony. All of them had somber looks on their face, and that's because a huge war was about to begin. The Clone War that is going to be known for centuries and centuries. The Clone War was going to be the war that was going to make a HUGE dent into the Republic. I mean it. Then the ships flew away from Coruscant.

* * *

In Naboo, more specifically, the Lake Retreat, Homestar and Marzipan were having their private wedding with the Bishop, Strong Sad, and Homsar. They were forced not to blab the marriage to other people. But because Homestar still didn't want to kiss, they just got married with the Bishop saying some words and Homestar giving Marzipan a ring he found in some planet during his training in the past ten years. They didn't know that the marriage would mean something bad to them in the future, but they didn't know. None of them knew of Homestar's dark future or of the doom that followed.

**THE END**


End file.
